Act Opposite to Feelings - Kindness Counts

Kindness is acknowledging the judgmental voice and dismissing it so to have an authentic, present conversation with a loved one [or colleague].  Kat Tansey

To do the opposite of what you're feeling goes against the grain especially when another person is set in her ways or he is mad at you.  Turning things upside down frequently involves going against common sense and your intuition all at once.

Hard...? You bet!

Doable?  It can be done...  because the brain holds plasticity and can rewire.  Good news is that fresh experiences lead to neuron growth even in maturity.  The brain rewires itself following such an experience. As you focus more on that disagreeable person's good qualities and act kindly, the more these actions are rewired into your brain's basal ganglia.

Ellen Weber suggests we need to snip our amygdala, when temper flares. 

Even today, you might feel the sting of words spoken by a trusted colleague, open a card from a family member and find any affection obvious from its absence, or encounter a person you care for who makes plans that deliberately exclude you. Each encounter that stings, rejects, criticizes, or diminishes you also locks steel jaws onto your amygdala. Luckily though, jaws that create intense emotional pain, can also become a trigger to snip your amygdala before you snipe back and intensify the damage. How so?

Rather than judge a culprit’s motives, regret your own weaknesses, or focus on deciphering what that person could be saying in meta-messages spoken, simply snip away. Sure, use good tone, and name the problem honestly rather than deny it exists, but then take mental scissors to snip your well being from any tethers to maligning words or thoughtless acts. The snipping leaves you mentally in a place to grow from the experience, or even offer an olive branch in response – rather than in a place of depression.

When someone nose dives into your well-being, it can cause pain in the chest.  But, showing simple acts of social kindness can blunt the brain’s response and lead pain to subside.  Act opposite that nudge to put out a person's lights and watch your own brain reignite.

Change begins within...  Kindness counts!