When Anger Spills Over

No matter which nostril anger snorts from -- venting and rage too often smoke us out. How so?

Anger's not subtle! Expressions of anger appear daily in media - like yesterday's campus shooting. Teens and children hear angry dialogue as they play war-like video games. Bratz dolls reflect pent up anger. How can men and women cope on the job when emotions peak to the top?

What way do you cope when frustration rises to the boiling point?

Hold anger in - Builds pressure that needs to be be expressed - arouses the nervous system.

Vent to express it - Tends to increase intensity of the feeling but does not solve the problem. Often it's a misguided approach to control a situation. But, anger feeds on itself... Aggression leads to irreversible damage to people in the vicinity.

How does anger affect you physically?

Blood pressure rises

Eats away at your cardiovascular system.

Stops your brain's capacity to think clearly

Interestingly anger is one emotion men consider okay to display. However, they often don't respond well when other men show it.

On the other hand, women are generally socialized to conceal anger.

Very often, people simply do not learn to manage anger suitably.

Since anger causes your brain to release cortisol, a chemical that works to increase stress and frustration, it remains with you for about 20 minutes. How can you learn to pull back initially when anger's ugly head steams to use strategies that counteract it? You can counter cortisol by choosing tactics that help your brain release serotonin, a hormone of well being.

Suggestions to pull back and help your brain begin to release serotonin:

1. Take several deep breaths and concentrate on them.

2. Hum a tune that quiets your soul. Music can move your brain waves and help change your focus.

3. Leave the meeting, go to another place and grab a bottle of water, Pepsi or cup of coffee. Go outside and concentrate on something in nature that captures your fancy.

4. Get quick exercise, such as running up stairs, taking a brisk walk or stretching all your muscles.

5. Doodle a picture representing something you enjoy.

Suggestions to manage anger...

1. Write down the cause of your anger on one side of a paper. On the other side, jot three solutions to the problem. Think of how you will discuss with the other party and do it. The only way you'll lose is to do nothing and let frustration fester.

2. Share your feelings with a close associate or friend you can trust. Talking about it often helps you see new solutions. They'll offer suggestions, too.

3. Name the situation that caused your anger, describe your feelings and ask people involved to help bring a solution for you.

4. Let go of things beyond your control. Your anger does not resolve problems and if it's beyond your control, let it go. Letting go isn't easy so each time it comes to mind, mentally see it blow into the air as do dandelion wings.

5. Get professional help if you're continually angry and you can't let it go.

Care to distance yourself from the smoke? What does your best extinguisher look like?