Follow-Up on Videos

I have been more careful to focus mainly on one objective and set up situations to film it. The issue is to be more clear about my signals that I am finished talking so that Pamela does not bolt too soon. I brainstormed this with the help of friends and realized that, when we are seated, Pamela usually does not bolt. If it is almost time for something scheduled or the activity is over, she will suddenly bold.

The plan is to spotlight the end of conversation. For example, I could make a big done gesture and give a breathy sigh. If that is not obvious, I could give a verbal hint paired with the gesture and/or sign. I can learn to watch for her signals of getting ready to bolt and be ready to block her by gently holding her hands. This reminds me of being in musicals in college: I need to practice in front of a mirror and block my part!

On Thursday, David filmed five different segments of Pamela and I talking what a chapter from a book reminds us of. She did extremely well: she referenced me beautifully, made comments, and repeated some of my words as if to help them register better. Sometimes, she reacted with emotion or changed the topic to something related. She tried to bolt a few times, but I let her know I was not finished with me and she stayed with me. I was not as clear as I could have been, so I have objectives for myself, too. I found that asking her a question about the next event worked well, but I need to be less obvious as she improves.


Here is the review I wrote about how these five segments went.

Segment One:
Activity: Talking about The Brendan Voyage Objective: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela makes a reasonable connection between sewing leather and her candlewicking animals. She stayed in control when she was upset.

Issues: Pamela thought I was pressuring her for more communication when I was only telling her more about my memory. She regulated by saying, “Cut it out!”

Tips: I need to introduce the topic with different phrasing when we talk about books. I need to wait a little longer to let her process.

Segment Two:
Activity: Talking about The Winged Watchman Objective: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela makes a reasonable connection between the flood in the story and boats in Sand Point. She smiled, responded with emotion, and showed a strong interest in my narration of the May 1995 flood in Destrehan.

Issues: Pamela stayed focused in spite of the barking dogs and my distracting response to them.

Tips: I need to introduce the topic with different phrasing when we talk about books. I need to wait a little longer to let her process.

Segment Three:
Activity: Talking about The Cones Objectives: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela has an excellent memory. She remembers a Hawaiian ice shaver my sister gave to us when we lived in West Newton. We did make snow cones a couple of times and I am surprised at how much she remembered. She stayed focused on my face even while rocking in the rocking chair. Then we talked about stores that carried gf/cf diet sorbet and soy ice cream. She was ready to end the conversation and stayed with me when I transitioned to another story in her primer book.

Segment Four:
Activity: Talking about The Endless Steppe Objectives: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela makes a reasonable connection between Esther’s days in school and her school and co-op days. Then she went from the bug class in Minnesota to a dead butterfly we found in a parking lot. She was ready to stop, but I continued talking to her about movies because the story mentioned a movie. I told her my favorite movie Chronicles of Narnia and, after much processing time, she told me hers, Amazing Grace. That bowled me over because I thought that movie was stunning and fantastic, but over her head.

Issues: She tried to stim on “Airhawks” but was able to get back on track.

Segment Five:
Activity: Talking about a chapter on Alexander Objective: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela maintains her focus in spite of the hyper-active dog. She makes a reasonable connection between Alexander’s horse Bucephalus and her horse in hippotherapy back in 1995. Then we both thought of Peter Pan after talking about the horse being afraid of its shadow. Pamela remembers reading Peter Pan in Sand Point. Then we transitioned to Wendy and a girl named Wendy, who was a guest at Pamela’s fourteenth birthday party. We talked about her birthday party, too, and the “no puffin” sticker at the Harbor Café.

Issues: The cameraman was bored and rotated the camera at an awkward angle.

Has Social Networking Changed the Face of Your Friendships?

Is Social Networking Changing the Nature of Friendship? That's a good question... Though I never thought that I'd add new friends to my life when I began a blog, that soon changed. Is that your experience, too?

Since folks can pop in on delightful conversations with others around the globe, when it's convenient, Web 2.0 opens doors to new kinds of friendships. I enjoy the ability to meet and converse with people because it opens windows to worlds of ideas. Did you find that to be true as well? Consider this...

The brain is not challenged by conversations about the weather, and yet when folks are face to face where they work and socialize, the weather's often the main topic of conversation... The fact that the brain steps up to challenges and intellectual ideas draws people to deeper issues. Social networks open new windows to meaningful topics with those who share similar interests and professions. Here's some facts gleaned from recent research.

Findings on how social networking is changing the face of friendship are fascinating...

Online users have the same number of friends in real-life, but even more counterparts online

Myspace and Facebook is changing the number of friends people have

The average person has a social network of around 150 friends, ranging from close friends to casual acquaintances

90% of online friends rated as 'close' have met face to face

People choose friends in person and online based on their 'quality'... in person facial and bodily cues help, but online it's harder to spot dishonest signals

Social networks aid communication and may bring about a change in the size and structure of real-life social networks in the future

Here's just a few examples of professionals and others who network...

Maria Palma is likely to talk to Tom Vanderwell because they're interested in Customer Service.

Mike Wagner discusses branding with others in the field, Anna Farmery, Chris Brown, Drew McClellan, Martin Jelsema, Patrick Schaber, Cord Silverstein Jonathan Phillips, and many more...

Liz Strauss, Darren Rowse, Mike Sansone, Yaro Starak, Phil Gerbyshak, Rob Watts, Ben Yoskovitz, Dawud Miracle, MarkK and many other folks enjoy the art and science of blogging and share tools and strategies to exchange ideas and conversations that enhance our experiences

Some bloggers enjoy conversations and sharing their experiences and ideas. They never cease to amaze you with new thoughts and ventures... Bob Glaza, Terry Starbucker, Hsien Lei, Robert Hruzek, Chris Cree, and perhaps you...

I'll be adding more categories in the next couple of days...

And today's news adds another perspective to consider... Do pets fill the friendship niche for some folks?... number of pet owners is on the rise... There're more than 70 million pet owners in this country, and that's up over 7 percent, from just last year... So what does this say?

We'll keep track of where social networks online lead, but consider this...

Social networks change us and we change social networks!

Thoughts...

Laugh - Bust Your Stressors!

Why is it when you laugh, your mood changes as it does for others with you? Interestingly, upbeat sounds such as laughter or a celebratory "woo hoo!" spark a response in a listener's brain. This reaction occurs in the same area of the brain that activates when we smile... almost as if prepping our facial muscles to follow through with laughter.

Belly laughs "can dilute the bad from news and help you cope," Ellen Weber finds, "because they lower stress and open your brain to new possibilities. Laughter can also be a great connector because it brings people together who are attracted to the lighter side of life….

What are we waiting for, let's enjoy a good laugh together!

News Story That'll Make Tears Come while You Laugh State Legislator Shows Naked Woman during School Lecture on how a bill becomes a law! This one's too good to miss.

Unbelievable Research Reaps Nobel Prize Quirky, funny scientific achievement!

Funniest Moments in Sports. This blog has absolutely captured moments that defy most photographers. You'll split your sides laughing as you view the rest of these winners!

Blogs to Make You Smile: Brad Shorr lists recent posts that brought forth a few guffaws. And,Ellen Weber's Dinner Blew Up but Not the Deal will really make your sides shake!

New Books to Tickle Your Funny Bone Wendall Jamieson tackles children's questions such as, "Can I Cook My Sister," with a unique twist...

Do you have humor we'd enjoy the kind that doesn't need to be censored? Send a link to your post and I'll post the real belly laughs in a follow-up. Be sure to put your link in my comments by October 16, and I'll share the fun soon after.

IPods to the Rescue for Folks Who Stutter

A $50.00 device used to modify MP3 players provides new low-cost treatment options for folks who stutter. University of Mississippi researcher, Greg Snyder says his own experience as a person who stutters led him to look for new options. Great news for leaders who face stuttering problems such as John Scully did.

John Scully, once president of Pepsi-Cola, succeeded in overtaking Coca-Cola as the #1 soft drink. He then changed "coasts and cultures" to become president of Apple Computer for ten years. In his autobiography he shares how he burst through the stuttering barrier...

"I was determined to build a strength out of what was originally a weakness. I went to the theater to watch how performers positioned themselves on stage. I'd practice for hours. I became obsessed with the idea that I was going to become better than anyone else as a business communicator."

Similar determination led Snyder to tap in to new research about the brain to bring about new options! He joined the ranks with researchers who realize that speech feedback might work by altering the way the brain processes speech.

As a result of this research, Snyder determined that speech initiation is a major part of stuttering. For instance if someone stutters on the word, "st-t-t-atue," the problem may not be the "t" but failure to initiate the "a" sound. Snyder's device records his own vowel sounds and plays those vowel sounds back to enhance fluency. About 40% of the participants in Snyder's study found significant fluency enhancement while using the device... Others found it effective, but disliked the nuisance of constant vowel sounds.

Though there have been advancements in many areas connected to the brain, when it comes to stuttering, "Most of the 'common knowledge' thought by the public and even within the field isn't based on science, but rather people's 'common sense' prejudice," Snyder says.

Because the current paradigm believed – and still largely believes – that stuttering is a psychological problem, many professionals continue to believe that this speech feedback ‘distracts’ people from their stuttering, thus enhancing fluent speech,” he said. “Other professionals believe that the speech feedback slows down the rate of speech, thus enhancing fluent speech. Both of these premises are not easily supported with science.

Hopefully we'll see even more new breakthroughs... Great news that Greg Snyder's $50.00 MP3 device can replace earlier types that cost 100 times that amount!

Last Night's RDI Webinar

I attended my first RDI webinar last night and found it very helpful, especially as a lone-ranger RDI parent. Dr. Steve Gutstein holds a free webinar for parents every Tuesday night at 9:00 PM EST. The "room" capacity is 50, but I had no problems getting in last night after showing up a few minutes late. If you have problems signing in, you can do so as a guest. I do not see next week listed, and I hope last night was not the last one! If you are shut out, you can chat with Dr. Rachelle Sheeley, which I have found very enlightening in the past.

I picked up some very helpful tidbits. First, we should try to focus on only one or two habits at a time--very reminiscent of Charlotte Mason. Then, we should consider all the things we do during the day in light of how to address the objective of interest. I have been doing well with this in my interaction style, trying to figure out how to be more RDI friendly during speech therapy, reading, language arts, errands, household tasks, little moments, etc.

He also suggested breaking up an objective into little steps and turning over responsibility to the child as competence emerges. We need to figure out any obstacles and find ways to remove them. We need to think about what we do and change how we interact to further mastery of the objective. What is mastery? It is when the child uses the skill consistently because it is internalized in the way they think.

So, this morning, I picked one goal in stage one and thought carefully about it: orienting for communication. When I speak with her while she is doing a task that is not completely distracting, Pamela consistently shifts her gaze to me. She still responds to verbal cues (saying her name) more often than non-verbal ones (touching her shoulder). She does orient to me when I indicate a desire to speak. She has greatly improved in sustaining her attention while I speak. Sometimes, she even repeats the last word of each sentence as if hanging onto every word. She does this the most when I tell her stories about myself, my family, her childhood, etc. She gives the greatest attention when I am working on episodic memory. However, she has one glitch preventing me from signing off on this objective: she has a tendency to bolt before closure. My thought is that I need to be more deliberate in using a variety of signs (verbal and non-verbal) to indicate the end of the interaction.

Dr. Gutstein inspired me with his discussion of videos. Videos are our primary tool for critiquing OUR performance (not the child's). We can pick up so much more by watching a video of an interaction and can pick up on little nuances missed real-time. Even though I do not submit mine to a consultant, I had gotten out of the habit of studying videos to see what really happened and what I could be doing better. Videos are most helpful when we catch on film the good, the bad, and the ugly to help us figure out more effective ways of parenting.

Today, I filmed a thirty-minute segment in which I taught Pamela to play a solitaire game for two that my mother taught me (and her mother taught her). I even stopped procrastinating and figured out how to burn a DVD. Now, I can watch the DVD on our plasma television to help me catch the little details if I can stand seeing and hearing myself in living color. After I sign off, I plan to do my first analysis of how things to come up with a lessons learned.

Be Good to You!

"When we're young we find comfort with peers," a friend mused. "When we're older we find comfort in food... Go figure!" I laughed at first, but reflected more... Do you find space to be good to you? Comfort activities can make a difference to your well-being...

Comfort Zones... One of my favorite comfort activities is putting on a fuzzy robe, sliding into slippers and settling back in a cozy chair with a good book. Another is a walk along the Erie Canal which is wondrous with every changing season... What's your favorite way to completely relax?

No Time to Relax?... In the midst of harried jobs, pressures at home, and even pressures from great community groups, do you seemingly run on a treadmill 24/7? This kind of lifestyle opens itself to a lot of Cortisol, a brain chemical often referred to as the stress hormone. Why should you care about cortisol? Dr. Ellen Weber reveals prolonged levels will...

1. Lower your immune system so you’ll get sick faster than others
2. Slow down your thinking
3. Create blood sugar imbalances
4. Raise your blood pressure
5. Weaken muscle tissue
6. Decrease bone density
7. Increase fat in the stomach areas

Pretty scary, eh? And often this happens because of the best intentions. People work hard, moms and dads give their all to children, upkeep of home, to parents. But, in the midst of all this they never learn to be good to themselves. They're drained! The only activity left is couch potato, which is not of any value since it causes folks to get further behind or feel guilty.

Being Good To You... Have you ever thought of planning to be good to yourself... to actually schedule it... jot it into your Daily or Weekly Planner? It doesn't need to take a lot of time either. What kind of activity would make your day or your week? Keep in mind variety makes this more fun as well...

Benefits... I never used to plan time in my schedule to be good to me, but do so now, and I feel ever so much less tension in my neck and shoulders. Just anticipating a fun time can release serotonin, a hormone of well-being. And, when we take time for ourselves, we'll actually have more within ourselves to give out at work and to those we love most...

Planning special fun activities, just for ourselves, in the course of busy weeks not only renews well-being, but also jazzes life... What do you have in mind?

Pamela's Latest Critter

Pamela just finished her first candlewicked dog. This project is a perfect example of how we weave Charlotte Mason and RDI together. Charlotte Mason believed the best handicrafts for children are those that are useful. Pamela's project is pretty enough to decorate any spot in our home. Charlotte also recommended handicrafts that developed fine motor skills. When Pamela was eight years old, she could hardly weave a shoestring through a lacing card. A decade later, she can sew beautiful artwork.

I try to working referencing, declarative language, and nonverbal communication when we make her projects. Today, for example, we shopped at the store around the corner to find the wooden acorn to hide the hoop screw. I pointed to things that would look silly (like doll hair or huge flowers) for fun. When we did the final touches, we each had roles: I held the ribbon, while she cut. I tied the ribbon, while she glued on the acorn.

Here are the steps we do as a team to make her candlewick critters.

* First, she draws an animal to fit the size of the hoop (five to six inches in diameter). Then, I trace it onto graph paper and make the dots. I bought a cutter used by quilters and a frame so that she can cut out a nine-inch-diameter circle. I transfer the dots to the muslin with a fine-tipped permanent marker.

* Then, she picks out the color of thread she plans to use for each part of the animal. We also pick out acrylic paint, ribbons, and decorative touches.

* Next, she makes French knots for all the dots. At first, we worked side by side until she got the hang of it. Now, she only comes to me when a knot went awry (which is not very often). In her first project (a red bird), I spaced the knots far apart. Now, they are closer together because she can take on more sewing per project.

* After three projects, I taught her the satin stitch, which she used for the collar and the nose of the dog. Whenever she learns a new stitch, we work side by side until she has mastered it. The next stitch she will learn is the running stitch. Very gradually, we will add more stitches and become more sophisticated.

* I use little tricks like masking tape. My mother taught me that the back of a needlework project ought to be as neat as the front. I achieve that by weaving threads into the back loops. To avoid getting them tangled while Pamela sews. I tape them to keep them out of her way.

* I do the detailed sewing (hemming the fabric and attaching the lace). I tried a hot glue gun with the first project and my thumbs got in the way and made a huge mess. It did not pass my mom's neatness test. I prefer spending the time sewing because it looks neater and allows you to wash the project more easily if it ever gets dirty.

* Pamela paints the outer piece of a very cheap wooden hoop. When completely dry, I attach the hoop, and we do the final decorative touches together.