8 Strategies to Reboot Your Brain for Active Listening

As someone talks about an innovative project do you find exciting ideas sizzle in your mind? At times, I can begin to run with just one piece of what a colleague says and think very creatively. Whoa, I am not listening.  Do you have a similar issue? Interestingly, as you mull over a new idea in your mind, you miss a portion of what the other person says. Listening takes intentional focus.

The way our brains work, deeply affects listening capability. Here's why...

Not too surprisingly, at least three facets of how the human brain works, impact our listening and speech patterns. When we hear an exciting idea, we may be tempted to build on that in our own mind. Our brain's neurotransmitters release dopamine, helping us to feel the pleasure of a reward. The pleasure we receive from forming new ideas in our minds may work at odds with truly listening to another person.

Likewise, patterns of past interactions stored in your basal ganglia, impacts personal mental mindsets.  For instance, if you have attended workshops, meetings, company training sessions, or have not engaged in meaningful conversation with certain people, you can see why you will need extra spark to be attentive.

Over time, the speech patterns we adopt culturally, affect the way we listen to others. The brain's basal ganglia, described by Dr. Ellen Weber, is a "mental storehouse for habits, routines and ruts for every lifetime experience you've encountered." If you are used to forming new ideas so you can respond during a pause as someone else talks, you do not listen well.

The brain mainly focuses on one thing at a time. For instance this is why it is impossible to text and drive at the same time since multitasking causes the brain to bottleneck. Perhaps this bottle necking proclivity shows exactly why it takes such intentional focus to truly listen to someone as s/he speaks. So how do we begin to focus more on listening?

"Interest or importance is inextricably linked to attention," according to John Medina in his book, Brain Rules. Medina notes that researchers refer to this as arousal.

8 Strategies to Reboot your Brain for keen listening...

Value the speaker When you listen well, and give another person's thoughts keen contemplation before you answer, you serve both yourself and that person well. Why not take a card or memo pad to events to jot down key words that jog your ideas later? In this way you can engage even more of the other person's idea and you will have even more to go on later.

Eye contact counts When you truly look at some one's eyes as he or she speaks, you jack  up your focus.  If you are in a busy room full of activity, you could be easily distracted. Laughter, catching part of a joke, seeing someone you want to contact, can take away your attention quickly. Because the brain tends to focus on one thing at a time, I have to really focus on the eye contact.  It makes a difference for me. You?

MITA Two-footed questions As you listen intently ask questions that take the person's ideas to a new angle or a facet you want to know more about. People enjoy telling you their best ideas. By keeping the focus on that person's interest, you can go deeper with him or her.  In so doing, you will find that you will have more buy in yourself. The conversation thus moves from neutral, to one in which you are keenly interested.  As you gain interest, you are bringing more of your right brain, the creative side, to the conversation.

Active listening  A friend from China, Wen Ma, shared that in his culture people listen actively and contemplate the person's point and take time before they respond.  Active listening can improve a sales person's abilities to engage well since it listening well enough to respond to clients' needs helps clinch all-important deals.

Words block distractions  If you find your mind is distracted when someone speaks, say a word in your head such as, "focus," or "clear the mechanism." Then replace this with a key word you hear from the person speaking to move your thoughts with his or hers.

Posture counts - lean in  By leaning in as you listen, it boosts your concentration and creates a deeper connection to other people.

Practice makes perfect  If you can see the need to improve on past listening habits you've developed, as have I, they can be changed. And it's related to the human brain's amazing plasticity. Very recently researchers began to explore this aspect of the brain even more.

Here's a listening test found on Psychology Today. Start with their analysis to change where you stand...

Thoughts or additions?

Zoning Out? Readers' Experiences - Solutions

"I was so wrapped in a task, I hadn't figured out how to solve yet," Alina Popescu reflects, "that I went into the office and ended up going in the opposite direction." Anna says she can be so focused on a task that she doesn't hear what her husband says to her. Or perhaps you've been reading a book that just doesn't hold your interest. Do you ever experience times when you "zone out"?

"After going through an intersection," Andrew relates, "it will sometimes occur to me that I did not actually consciously check whether or not the traffic light was actually green or not. Of course, a quick glance in the rear view mirror, plus the fact that I did not actually have an accident, provides evidence that yes, indeed the light was in fact green. Nevertheless, I am amazed sometimes by my tendency to operate on auto-pilot during the driving process." That's a kind of zoning out that might be described as "unbridled reverie."

Interestingly, there are differences in the ways we "zone out" or "daydream." Jonathan Schooler finds that there's a "difference between unbridled reverie and constructive daydreaming." Only people who experience a daydream state demonstrate an upswing in creativity. How would you define the times you catch yourself "zoning out?" As you can see there's a big difference.

Here's what some readers offer on "zoning out" or "daydreaming":

If you are bored and not focused on a task you may need some guidance. GeologyJoe says that he can't "presume people working under him know the responsibilities of a job because they claim they have done it before." To avoid that he explains job details before they embark on the task. "If they were/are REALLY thinking and engaged in the task," GeologyJoe notes, "because it is new or something there is more self driven communication back to me and less errors." You can see how engagement often comes from the novelty of performing new tasks. That helps overcome the tendency to get bored on the job. Think productively daydreaming ahead of time about a new task would help?

Craig Brown asked how you would apply creativity to program/project management. Craig suggests focusing people on outcomes. You'd be interested in strategies HR World listed from productivity and time management expert Laura Stack (2006) to reap productivity from daydreams:

• Avoid using daydreaming to procrastinate.
• Pick a "designated daydreaming place." Create or develop new strategies by giving yourself some downtime in a place that offers solitude.
• Set time limits. Stack suggests that for the most effective brainstorming, allow a minimum of 15 minutes but no more than an hour.
• Give purpose to daydreaming. Consider a plan or problem to set your mind free on while daydreaming.
• To reap the most from daydreams, capture them by writing them down or recording them.
• So, don't assume that your daydreamers are costing your company money. By allowing for - or even encouraging - focused daydreaming, organizations can help keep employees creative and productive not just during the holidays but all year long.

Anna, Ed Lisbe, suggests some "you-focused" strategies to help overcome lack of focus when your husband talks to you. Lisbe says poor listening occurs because we haven't had good role models. Poor listening is a "difficult habit to break because there are so few role models around for us to copy. Most likely, our parents haven't been good listeners to us or to others. Our teachers probably weren't good listeners. Most bosses aren't good listeners. Our friends or neighbors? Doubtful. Our elected political representatives?" Lisbe provides practical strategies to grow as a listener.

Mard stopped by to share Danger! Overload!. He includes a 9-minute video by Maggie Jackson on her book, Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age. This helps us to be more aware that there is a problem when we get distracted because of "Internet overload."

"I have always hated sitting in meetings that bored me, JD Walton reports. "I adopted the task of trying to write most things that were said to force my concentration. I would end up with great notes and stay awake. It got real difficult when what was being said was not worth writing down." JD, to have more fun with this task, I suggest you capture the main points as doodles. Most of us think in pictures so the novelty of that transfer can help you even when you feel that something said isn't worth putting down. Or better yet, you can daydream about a project you need to complete!

"We spend between 15 and 50 percent of our waking hours daydreaming -- that is, straying away from focused tasks or external stimuli to inner thoughts, fantasies and feelings," Josie Glausiusz notes in Psychology Today, April 2009.

You and I can benefit if we make those daydreaming hours productive rather than lapsing into reveries. And let's plan for strategies to stay focused if we note we've been flirting with danger!

Thoughts?

Tune-in Tasks to Stay Mentally Fit

Distractions interrupt the brain's memory-making ability, especially in older brains. Twittering when trying to balance the bank book or reading? Annoying noises and other environmental disruptions can cause increased activation in certain regions that normally should be quieter or tuned down. So your memory processes can be short circuited...

Older brains show greater susceptibility according to a recent study at Canadian Rotman Research Institute at Baycrest. “The auditory cortex and prefrontal cortex, associated with external environmental monitoring, were idling too high," claims Dr. Dale Stevens. Interestingly, older brains processed too much irrelevant information from surroundings.

Researchers scanned brains of 12 younger adults and 12 older adults with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

Both age groups looked at pictures of faces and later indicated which they recognized.

When both groups failed to recognize a face, the researchers saw decreased activity in the memory encoding regions of the brain, including the hippocampus.

However, when older participants looked at faces they later forgot, their brains showed increased activity in a region that should have been quiet during memory encoding – the auditory cortex, the part of the brain that processes sound in the environment. The older adults averaged 70 years old.

"This indicates that older adults were not able to suppress or filter out the noise of the fMRI machine," said Stevens. "We did not see this in the younger adults at all."

So what possible strategies might folks use to increase attentional skills? Here're 10 starters...

1. Play soft music in background while working since music moves your brain waves.

2. Choose baroque music to increase focus while working or studying

3. Outsource memory on daily planner - include last minute "to-do's."

4. Keep items in a specific place. Determine fixed place for keys at all times. For example, use belt hook or hook on purse. Never set items down willy-nilly.

5. Turn off cell phone while driving. In addition, avoid "deep conversations" since they take your brain off focus on road.

6. Avoid multi-tasking. Brain focuses well on one thing at a time, whether it be driving or writing.

7. Keep eyes on work tasks as you complete them to make sure all's truly finished and clutter removed, and tools returned to designated sites. Clutter exacerbates attentional problems.

8. Observe a person's face carefully and repeat name after introduction. Make mental note of an animal you might connect to that person. Ask the person a question about something s/he enjoys. That adds to a viable memory.

9. Look into person's eyes as you speak so your mind does not wander around the room.

10.Turn off TweetDeck and other techical devices that may interrupt during creative work times. Distractions shut down focus for creativity not matter your age.

Interestingly, as you look at this list, you can see that folks of all ages, teens to seniors, exerience interruptions throughout a day. What do you do target and tune-in, rather than tuning-out?

Reduce Stressors, Boost Mind-body Performance

Are you feeling tightness across your shoulders and neck as you work? Stressors can tighten their grip daily and don't go away. Stress actually takes away your ability to focus and pay attention. The hormone cortisol floods your brain and body when you worry, panic, fear, feel anxious or pressured, or run the fast track too long. Here's how stress affects your brain...

Older adults who experience high levels of cortisol, perform poorly on memory tests and their hippocampus, the seat of learning and memory, literally shrinks. For younger adults and teens, an acute increase in cortisol can lead to reversible memory impairments.

"This explains why some older adults show poor brain function while others perform very well," Dr. Sonia Lupien, of the McGill research team conjectures. "Perhaps, through early interventions, we can modify the cortisol levels and enhance brain function of the at-risk individuals."

Good news is that recent research reveals that Integrative Body-Mind Training (IBMT) works effectively against stress. So how does IBMT work?

The technique avoids struggles to control thought, relying instead on a state of restful alertness, allowing for a high degree of body-mind awareness while receiving instructions from a coach, who provides breath-adjustment guidance and mental imagery while soothing music plays in the background. Thought control is achieved gradually through posture, relaxation, body-mind harmony and balanced breathing. The authors noted in the study that IBMT may be effective during short-term application because of its integrative use of these components.

Interestingly these techniques help shift your brain's focus by using musical, bodily-kinesthetic, spatial and intrapersonal intelligences. Since it takes very sharp concentration to fix your mind in four areas to do the IBMT exercises, you can use the same technique to change focus immediately when a stressor hits or keeps nagging. Here's how...

Musical... play an uplifting song on your iPod
Bodily-kinesthetic... Get out of your seat and walk down the hall, breathing deeply and concentrating on deep breaths
Spatial... Picture in your mind your very favorite vacation spot
Intrapersonal... Ask a question of yourself... "What can I do during lunch or even the next break to be good to me?"

Choose any one of these strategies to cut down your stress.

What strategy do you use to quickly move out of stress's tight grip?

Follow-Up on Videos

I have been more careful to focus mainly on one objective and set up situations to film it. The issue is to be more clear about my signals that I am finished talking so that Pamela does not bolt too soon. I brainstormed this with the help of friends and realized that, when we are seated, Pamela usually does not bolt. If it is almost time for something scheduled or the activity is over, she will suddenly bold.

The plan is to spotlight the end of conversation. For example, I could make a big done gesture and give a breathy sigh. If that is not obvious, I could give a verbal hint paired with the gesture and/or sign. I can learn to watch for her signals of getting ready to bolt and be ready to block her by gently holding her hands. This reminds me of being in musicals in college: I need to practice in front of a mirror and block my part!

On Thursday, David filmed five different segments of Pamela and I talking what a chapter from a book reminds us of. She did extremely well: she referenced me beautifully, made comments, and repeated some of my words as if to help them register better. Sometimes, she reacted with emotion or changed the topic to something related. She tried to bolt a few times, but I let her know I was not finished with me and she stayed with me. I was not as clear as I could have been, so I have objectives for myself, too. I found that asking her a question about the next event worked well, but I need to be less obvious as she improves.


Here is the review I wrote about how these five segments went.

Segment One:
Activity: Talking about The Brendan Voyage Objective: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela makes a reasonable connection between sewing leather and her candlewicking animals. She stayed in control when she was upset.

Issues: Pamela thought I was pressuring her for more communication when I was only telling her more about my memory. She regulated by saying, “Cut it out!”

Tips: I need to introduce the topic with different phrasing when we talk about books. I need to wait a little longer to let her process.

Segment Two:
Activity: Talking about The Winged Watchman Objective: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela makes a reasonable connection between the flood in the story and boats in Sand Point. She smiled, responded with emotion, and showed a strong interest in my narration of the May 1995 flood in Destrehan.

Issues: Pamela stayed focused in spite of the barking dogs and my distracting response to them.

Tips: I need to introduce the topic with different phrasing when we talk about books. I need to wait a little longer to let her process.

Segment Three:
Activity: Talking about The Cones Objectives: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela has an excellent memory. She remembers a Hawaiian ice shaver my sister gave to us when we lived in West Newton. We did make snow cones a couple of times and I am surprised at how much she remembered. She stayed focused on my face even while rocking in the rocking chair. Then we talked about stores that carried gf/cf diet sorbet and soy ice cream. She was ready to end the conversation and stayed with me when I transitioned to another story in her primer book.

Segment Four:
Activity: Talking about The Endless Steppe Objectives: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela makes a reasonable connection between Esther’s days in school and her school and co-op days. Then she went from the bug class in Minnesota to a dead butterfly we found in a parking lot. She was ready to stop, but I continued talking to her about movies because the story mentioned a movie. I told her my favorite movie Chronicles of Narnia and, after much processing time, she told me hers, Amazing Grace. That bowled me over because I thought that movie was stunning and fantastic, but over her head.

Issues: She tried to stim on “Airhawks” but was able to get back on track.

Segment Five:
Activity: Talking about a chapter on Alexander Objective: Attention, S1A

Pluses: Pamela maintains her focus in spite of the hyper-active dog. She makes a reasonable connection between Alexander’s horse Bucephalus and her horse in hippotherapy back in 1995. Then we both thought of Peter Pan after talking about the horse being afraid of its shadow. Pamela remembers reading Peter Pan in Sand Point. Then we transitioned to Wendy and a girl named Wendy, who was a guest at Pamela’s fourteenth birthday party. We talked about her birthday party, too, and the “no puffin” sticker at the Harbor Café.

Issues: The cameraman was bored and rotated the camera at an awkward angle.