Money and Contentment

Money and happiness

I'd rather focus on money than people...  Paul verbalized as he led a seminar for building savvy financial choices.  His words stuck and I couldn't let go of them. Interestingly, money - even the thought of it - reduces satisfaction from life's simple pleasures...  

Studies show that a person's ability to savor experiences predicts their degree of happiness.  Savoring leads to emotions of joy, excitement, wonder, contentment and gratitude.  You can develop an emotional attachment to money, as much as you might for relationships you hold most dear.  Your brain rewires for more of what you do and focus on. Because of the emotional pleasure connected to savoring money, it creates a strong pattern for more such pleasure.

The Rich Really Are Different  

"The rich really are different, and not in a good way," explains psychologist and social scientist, Dacher Keltner. "Their life experience makes them less empathetic, less altruistic, and generally more selfish."

In fact, he says, the philosophical battle over economics, taxes, debt ceilings and defaults that are now roiling the stock market is partly rooted in an upper class "ideology of self-interest."

Unlike the rich, lower class people have to depend on others for survival, Keltner argued. So they learn “prosocial behaviors.” They read people better, empathize more with others, and they give more to those in need.

In video recordings of conversations, rich people are more likely to appear distracted, checking cell phones, doodling, avoiding eye contact, while low-income people make eye contact and nod their heads more frequently signaling engagement.

Momentary Happiness

Higher income women have more momentary happiness and less overall life satisfaction, according to statistics.   To determine the level of contentment in lower versus higher income women, the two were compared in data from a Bureau of Labor Statistics survey.  Alan Kruger, an economist from Princeton and his research colleagues found that those with higher incomes had more chores and less fun.  For example, higher income women "devoted more time to working, commuting, childcare, and shopping and were under more stress and tension than those in lower income brackets."

Men making more than $100,000 a year spend about 20% of their time on passive leisure activities such as watching television and socializing.  Meanwhile, men whose annual income were less than $20,000 spent more than 34 percent of their time dedicated to passive leisure.

Contentment


What brings you real contentment anyway?

Gratitude Thankfulness is essential to achieving well-being.

Relationships Family and friends bring large measure of psychological wealth.

Creativity Exploration and discovery makes us feel open and alive and boosts resilience and satisfaction with life.

Faith Opens a window to the meaning of life and by embracing God we find inner contentment.

Nature Relaxes and refreshes mind and soul.

Learning Leaping to meet new intellectual challenges and using gifts and talents in new ways.

Laughter A lighthearted attitude often brings aha moments when you need them most.

Courage Inner strength to stand up for what is best for yourself and others.

Empathy Caring about and helping others.

What would you add to this list?

Expect Top Possibilities?

Expect Possibilities

What specific dividends do you expect today? Yes, even in the face of problems that defeat people around you. Life tends to take a forward leap – toward new possibilities anticipated, for those who act on what could be. Despite naysayers and doubters, the brain kicks into gear in response to expectations. While it took a solo flight to reach her top prediction, one high school kid Hani, simply ran toward the best and remained solidly in the direction of her dream, until it materialized.

A poor Indonesian girl in dog-eared clothes, waited till she spotted a teacher in the parking lot of an elite Indonesian school. Hani approached the teacher, and in a soft voice asked, "Could you help me with English?" Jamie Winship, an idealistic young English teacher, saw courage in the girl’s approach, especially since she likely knew this school shunned under-privileged Indonesian students.

When Jamie asked why Hani wanted to improve her English, she responded without a pause, …” to attend American university." Moved by the young girl's raw boned dream, Jamie agreed to meet after school. The language lesson extended into months, as Hani refused to waver no matter how much work it took. As soon as she finished her regular school day, she rode the bus for an hour to work on new English lessons that Jamie prepared. Not only did Hani’s study habits outrank top efforts in the elite school, she pushed herself to master the basics in college level English. Hani stuck to a daily grind of meeting every challenge that English raised between her expectations to attend a US college and her underprivileged station in life.

By focusing on possibilities Hani harnessed creativity enough to act on them. In this way she rewired her brain for more of the same. Luckily human brains reshape by what you do in a day, so that regardless of setbacks, a finer big picture can shape and drive expectations.

As customary, new scholarship opportunities arrived in Jamie's mail. As she read vast requirements, Jamie feared Hani had no hope to qualify. She could not list an involvement in clubs or sports. Hani's school had none. Jamie mentioned the scholarship to Hani, and at the same time told her to plan more "realistically" for her future. Hani looked somberly at Jamie as she ran through the fine print, and when Jamie finished, she asked her mentor to submit her name. When naysayers doubt your chances, do your expectations hold?

Jamie didn’t have the heart to turn down Hani, and though she explain the truth about Hani's academic life, she also described on the application, Hani's courage and willingness to work for what she expected.

Jamie then prepared Hani to take an English Fluency test, in Jakarta. That meant Hani needed to learn to use computers, in spite of never having touched one before.

On the test day, a letter from the university arrived in Jamie's mailbox. Jamie thought it was a cruel time to receive a rejection letter, but to prepare Hani for the disappointment, she read the letter out loud. Hani had been accepted! Jamie was ecstatic and leaped for joy around the room. This bewildered Hani, who sat quietly smiling – watching.

Jamie learned something that day, that Hani had known all along.

As I read Hani's story in Chicken Soup for the College Soul, I was inspired and energized by Hani’s reward for sticking to possibilities expected, rather than focusing on problems. Yesterday, as Dr. Ellen Weber and I responded to new contacts, and moved the MITA Center forward, we made top progress. Today, we expect more of the same despite rough spots in the current recession. What do you expect, and what step today would start you in that direction?

Stretch Past Ability Myths

"…I opened the page and scrolled all the way down to the bottom of the page, expecting to see ourselves in the last 10 positions for the Best Coaching Blogs 2009," Frederique Murphy relates…

"As you know this is not where we had been ranked at, but that is where I first looked. That means that for a quick second or two, my little voice (yes, you know that one…!) had decided that there was no way I could be anywhere else other than the bottom of that list."

If you entered a contest and received results in an email, would you first look at the top or bottom to see where you ranked? Please take a minute to complete the poll you see just to the right of this blog.

Frederique says she quickly interrupted the pattern -- of seeing herself as lesser than and began to look at the top in the belief that she truly could rank at the top.

Evidently over time, Frederique had wired into her brain she was not in the top ten for accomplishing a big goal, such as writing one of the 10 Best Coaching Blogs 2009. No doubt the mindset that she might not be right at the top began in childhood. She's not alone according to research.

I can relate to this because I developed a similar mindset through varied experiences K-12. For instance, I was one of the last players chosen for any of the kickball teams all through elementary school. So I began to think of myself as not good in sports. Do you relate to this as well? Though, a late bloomer, I took up golf and have played tournaments and won... in my 60's!

Thinking of ourselves as "lesser than," when it comes to performance, is but one of the many myths we create in our brain about our capabilities. Myths such as this one are wired into our brain's basal ganglia, the storehouse of patterns and routines we experience daily over time. The number of times we wire these into our brain, the more deeply entrenched the belief. Dr. Ellen Weber explains this myth in relation to beliefs about learning and performance...

MYTH: Some things are impossible for some people to learn or perform well, in reasonable time limits.
Reality: Hook even difficult facts onto one thing you know already and learning or doing new skills increases in less time.

Frederique said she listened to the little voice for one or two seconds... the voice that told her to look at the bottom.

All of us face situations when we revert back to patterns and routines stored in our brain's basal ganglia. Frederique points out that she stopped her glance quickly, to glance at the top of the list. As a coach, she was very mindful about what was happening. So she immediately changed her unthinking first move to look for her name at the top of the winners list, fully showing her confidence.

Rather than allowing our minds go into autopilot when doing something, we can instead take thoughtful actions... that transform.

Good news is that the human brain has great plasticity so that enables us to change habits or beliefs about ourselves that we formed long ago. The more you do something in the opposite direction, the more you rewire your brain for the new. Stretch and go for it!

If you have a story to add or comments, please do comment. I'd welcome your thoughts.

Happy with Your Work?

Interestingly, many older Americans are happy with their work. Is that the case for you? A recent University of Chicago study shows that though some people may gripe, many workers love their jobs. And, believe it or not, satisfaction increases with age.

The survey found that job satisfaction increases with age, with workers over 65 among the most satisfied. The study shows that 86 percent of the people interviewed between 1972 and 2006 said they were satisfied at their jobs. "Job satisfaction is especially high among those 65 and over because most people working at that age are not those forced to still work due to financial reasons, but those who choose to do so because they like their jobs," Tom W. Smith, Director of the General Social Survey at the National Opinion Center at the University of Chicago, said.

"The most important the factors contributing to more job satisfaction," Smith discovered, "in descending order of importance are holding a job with high prestige, being older, being non-black and earning more from a job."

So if you enter a dream career, why does the honeymoon seem to end? Perhaps its a hellish commute, work that's predictable rather than creative, incompetent bosses, or office politics that tarnishes what you once thought perfect. If that's the case what can you do to turn that around?

Your attitude helps to shape your outcomes. If you go to work thinking it will be dull and monotonous, these turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. Judith Sills, a Philadelphia based clinical psychologist recommends the following strategies, in the Dec issue of Psychology Today to renew the first love you had for your work...

Sills recommends keeping a daily list of five things that were positive at work each day. She terms it "attitude gratitude." Check these out for your list...

Review the sweet spots of your day Notice the moments in your day when you sense you're at your best. Keep bringing flashbacks of these moments to mind.

Cherish social support You and colleagues work together to accomplish goals. Your encouragement and support of others helps you as much or more as it does them.

Appreciate mentoring Many bosses keep giving you tips and strategies to help you grow. Good mentoring is not always easily received, but it is a great boon to your growth. Rejoice your boss cares.

Perks count Think about the bonus, the company dinner, the football tickets or even your vacation time and count these as a plus.

Consider your salary "Certainly a sense of self, a contribution to society, intellectual challenge, and deep visceral thrills make excellent reasons to love your job," Sills says. ""But on the off chance that your day-to-day employment falls short... remember that money is the primary reason adults are at the workplace."

If people make that "attitude adjustment," it's a great way to reboot your brain at work... as Ellen Weber advocates.

What spurs you on to renew the romance of your first love for your work?

Thumbs Up!

Many celebrate graduates in June. Celebration's deserved for peak in performance. That often occurs as we learn new skills from others.

Initiate something different on the job and your brain rewires new dendrite brain cells for that skill. Each time you do the skill seems easier... And, you build savvy, too. Here's a thumbs-up to bloggers who raise the bar by using more of their gifts and talents aka multiple intelligences in novel ways.

Bodliy-kinesthetic Intelligence: Carol Kinsey Gorman, shares how we can we can improve on our body-language to engage others in ways that benefit us at work. She's just published, Non-Verbal Advantage.

To get some fresh insights about your body language, check out Anna Farmery's interview of Carol in The Importance of Body Language, a podcast. They discuss...

* How you raise the engagement of employees in meetings through body language.
* How to use your body language in meetings
* Whether you can change the body language of others
* What are the secrets to charisma and how to be a charismatic leader?
* Why do people struggle to trust and engage with politicians
* Insights into the body language of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain

Musical Intelligence: If you have need of music for a production you are creating, Erikiso offers offers excellent sites where you can locate and download great music free.

Intrapersonal Intelligence: Grace goes hand in hand with kindness and thankfulness in my mind and it was a joy to read Terry Starbucker's definition of grace this morning...

When one lives with grace, it means that in one’s manner, talk and action, there flows an elegance and warmth that respects and honors all individuals with kindness, compassion, understanding, and tolerance. This warmth is capable of spreading to everyone this person encounters, so that the person is described as adding “grace” to an occasion or to any other gathering (or a blog, for that matter). When one lives with grace, they also possess grace, in that they draw moral and spiritual strength from it, and ultimately, true happiness and fulfillment.

Terry had been surprised by Rosa Say's grace in republishing his contribution on grace at Joyful Jubilant Learning. Thanks Terry and Rosa! This is Intrapersonal Intelligence shining brightly through you both.

Interpersonal Intelligence More and more social networking is imperative to build your brand. Gavin Heaton provides several reasons why...

We are effectively seeing the 20th Century modes of business (command and control) being subverted by the activities of individuals. The strict hierarchies and mechanisms of control are being called into question by active (consumer) participants and employee evangelists determined to achieve outcomes (often in spite of the barriers placed in their way).

Spatial Intelligence Ever ride the wave of your imagination? Karen Swim reminds me to just sit and let my imagination take me away and let me see new mental images of things I was aware of previously and which are not yet realities. Einstein did this all the time...

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.

Linguistic Intelligence - Can you remember the last word you wrote in your last exam answer sheet before you graduated from college? My bet would be no. AxeCity, a fairly new blogger, decided to concentrate on one word in his final exam: "Future." What would happen if you concentrated on "Future" as you carry out your work next week? Check to see what happened...

Naturalistic Intelligence Brad Shorr tells a story of a Mother Robin who decided to build a nest in a maple tree near his childhood home. Bullies want Brad to help them smash the eggs. You'll have to read Brad's powerful story to see how this touch his life...

Let's give Robert Hruzek a high five for this month's focus on animals in his latest What I Learned From … group project. Check his site next week for fascinating stories I see in the queue. For instance, I noticed Joanna Young learned about the writing life from her cat. There'll be many fascinating entries...

Logical-Mathematical How do you market your business with little money? Drew McLellan offers five strategies to get your brand visible without breaking the bank... Now that takes real savvy, Drew and thanks for the great tips. Here's just one and check his site for more.

Hang out where your potential customers hang out and be helpful.

What would happen if you looked through the lens of a new intelligence as you approach a problem at work? Try stretching what you usually do and see what happens!

Easter Perspective

Busy business leaders can benefit by taking time to step aside and rewire. One way of rewiring is to gain more perspective about who we are and our overall purpose. Faith guides purpose in life - helps bring meaning to our overall existence in relation to others, our earth, and God.

One benefit is that faith and spirituality are linked to positive physical and mental health. Faith helps us answer the meaning life has for us: Who are we? Where do we come from? Why do we exist? What is the meaning of life, of love, of tragic losses of death?

In light of purpose in life, many business leaders take a few moments to center themselves. For those readers and friends who celebrate Easter, here's a meditation - a poem by Luci Shaw...

Onlookers

"Sickness is a place. . .where there's no company, where nobody can follow." -- Flannery O'Connor

Behind our shield of health, each
of us must sense another's anguish
second-hand; we are agnostic in the face of dying. So Joseph
felt, observer of the push
and splash of birth, and even Mary,
mourner, under the cross's arm.

Only their son, and God's,
in bearing all our griefs
felt them first-hand, climbing
himself our rugged hill of pain.
His nerves, enfleshed, carried
the messages of nails, the tomb's
chill. His ever-open wounds
still blazon back to us the penalty
we never bore, and heaven
gleams for us more real,
crossed with that human blood.

From Postcard from the Shore, 1985

Why Do It Today?

At times, I have problems buckling down to start work on major projects. The immediate begs for attention and I let go of the bigger picture. Do you experience this, too? Procrastination is a problem that plagues many... Unfortunately there's consequences to pay, just as in the fable, "The Grasshopper and the Ant." Here's a closer look..

Hall of Procrastinators
Just look at this lineup! Note any patterns?

Perfectionists Sense that if a task can't be done perfectly, there's no great incentive to even start.

Peter Pans (Never grow up) Syndrome Seek to maintain a childlike world without responsibilities or unpleasant tasks. You're only young once, but you can remain immature indefinitely.

Adrenaline Addicts Like the rush of meeting last minute deadlines. They're thrilled by putting their all into a project that must be completed by midnight!

Bit Players fear success since they will be in the limelight and will be called on to accomplish and beat past records. Thus, success should be avoided.

Baby Boomers expect much. The Boomers had much given to them and many were raised without personal obligation. They sense they're owed.

Buck Passers hope someone else will do it. And if someone else does not take charge, maybe it doesn't need doing after all. Many of these folks let outside circumstances dictate their lives. They're not at the helm of life.

People Pleasers can't say "no." Pleasers have an overbooked calendar and they just can't do all they've committed themselves to do.

Cowardly Lions fear criticism, embarrassment and disapproval. Their nonassertive behaviors perpetuate procrastination through lack of confidence and activity.

No American Idols pull back so they don't damage self worth. Many people see self-worth in the ability to perform well. Procrastination provides an out - so they don't have to perform.

Try this...Keep track of how you spend time...how much you daydream, talk on the phone or converse with others at work during a day. Results reveal where minutes fly away.

How do proscrastinators bust barriers that halt them? Procrastinators've programmed their brain over a lifetime to let tasks go 'till near deadline. Changing a lifetime habit isn't easy but it can be done...Consider recent research about the brain...

Our brain has amazing plasticity. And just by practicing different approaches, people form new routines. How? Each time folks use one of the strategies listed below, for instance, they rewire their brain differently. And potential's here to become the person you really want to be...

Plan Backwards and set starting times Use a planner and jot down times and tasks for each day as you take on bite-size pieces.

Check off Daily Tasks When Complete There's satisfaction to cross off tasks accomplished.

Select Work Space with Ambiance and No Distraction Create an environment to work alone...where others can't bug you. Maybe that means turning off the phone and deactivating computer games and email. Fix surroundings so they are pleasant and tidy.

Use a Time Clock Try to work really hard for 20-30 minutes at first. That's not too long and you will be surprised at what you accomplish when you put your all into the project for that short space daily. Sandy Renshaw recommends working with a time clock.

Reward Yourself at Increments When you reach "milestones along the way," buy that sports jersey, game ticket, new shoes or spa treatment as a reward.

Discuss Specifics with Others Share progress with others and capture new insights and perspectives.

Let Mistakes Go So you miss a day. Don't beat up on yourself. Let it go and forge ahead as if it didn't happen.

Just Do It As NIKE and athletes proclaim! Begin. And like the Little Engine that Could, give your brain new self-talk, I think I can, I think I can...and before you know it, you will complete it - on time.

At times, I battle procrastination. And writing this post was great review to put myself on the right path. I'm about 85% there. You?