Are you familiar with the term, "pregnant pause"... a pause long enough to make you nervous when you're speaking to a group? When you introduce novel strategies or new information, unearthly silence can follow a thoughtful question you ask. What you do with a pause can make or break a presentation.
Treat silence as your ally... it provides a window of time for people to tap into their brains and play more of a role... bring ideas to the table. If you're anxious and just move on to the next point in your outline, you miss an opportunity.
Begin with a thoughtful two-footed question... a more thoughtful question on your topic that seeks people's experiences and knowledge connecting to it. Now wait... even when it seems like an eternity.
- been diminished for ideas expressed in public. The person no longer risks saying anything.
- built stronger intrapersonal intelligence skills. Such an individual is prone to reflect first.
- lacked interest in your topic and is bored or unmotivated by the presentation.
- cultivated a competitive spirit, which has been rewarded in past by listening to others' ideas first before sharing his or her wisdom.
- lacked verbalizing skills and not have confidence to share ideas.
As I've had the opportunity to collaborate with Dr. Ellen Weber in MITA sessions, I've watched her amazing acumen to pace. She has the fortitude to wait out the silence... more voice comes to life... and when participants begin to share wisdom, it takes a session to the top...
Ellen says, "Remember it's not what you say at a presentation that people remember... it's what they say!"
Innovation and invention can activate when you step into your confidence and pause...
The notes of the lecturer are passed to the notes of the listener - without going through the mind of either... Mortimer Adler
Have you stopped to wait in silence after asking a question when leading?... It seems risky and uncomfortable... What if no one says anything? The gut screams that you'll appear foolish since you appear to be wasting time. So why bother?
Connections - Silence allows folks just a bit of time to link what a speaker says to their ideas, knowledge and experience. Silence provides enough space to make connections. When you stop and pause, it opens space for deeper thoughts.
Learning - Leaders around a table have a chance to think and reflect... when this space is provided some of our most important thinking occurs - and ideas come forth that're otherwise smothered. "Some leaders view staff development as conveying information," Dennis Sparks, of the National Development Council claims. "It's not about what a trainer or coach does, but the effort invested by leaders as learners as they participate." Spaces of silence allow for reflection.
Active Listening - When silence occurs as others speak, you engage active listening, something most humans do not do since in many cultures including the U.S. , we're formulating our next words and waiting our next opportunity to jump in and speak. When we engage in this, we really do not listen. However, we could learn from Asian cultures where speaking patterns differ and people pause to think and don't have the pressure to jump in just to fill a pause. How would you rate your listening skills?
Community - Important and lasting learning occurs in community. The Inuit elders' talking stick can work as a tool to enforce silence and enhance individual thinking and reflection until space is provided for input as each holds the stick to speak. Dr. Ellen Weber saw the effectiveness of a talking stick when living with the Inuit for two years in the High Arctic and uses this approach at many of our MITA sessions. Any neutral object serves well. Talking stick sessions ultimately lead to new ideas at the table. And, people in the community tend to bond more as deeper thinking emerges and they learn more about each other at a deeper level.
Voice - Though it may seem strange to include voice in a post on silence, many voices are never heard when only a few speak. For instance, Anna, one of my commenters said last week, "I know that I know, but my confidence level would be sometimes low. And I sometimes could not believe how many engineers I saw that they argue their way so strongly that they are right, later to find out that they were wrong." Anna's voice was important, but was often held back at engineering tables. Spaces of silence, along with the talking stick, can bring new confidence to all players so that their thoughtful contributions can come forth. What might happen in your team?
Reconfigures Minds - the most powerful changes in thinking create new neural networks in the brain and develop relationships that sustain us and our work. Stillness and spaces to reflect enable that process.
Cultivates the Heart - Silence affects your beliefs in ways that affect you and other leaders.
Ready to Still Your Voice? Consider ways stillness might be used to begin a conference or meeting, as a transition between topics of discussion, or to help leaders in meetings reflect on what they've learned, gather their thinking or ponder where to from here. Surprises come to those who listen.
Thanks, Steve Roesler, you stirred my thought and research on silence in your post on Employee Needs. This post cooked a few days on the back burner.
Remember, Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing... William S. Burroughs
Are you familiar with the term, "pregnant pause"... a pause long enough to make you nervous when you're speaking to a group? When you introduce novel strategies or new information, unearthly silence can follow a thoughtful question you ask. What you do with a pause can make or break a presentation.
As I've had the opportunity to collaborate with Dr. Ellen Weber in MITA sessions, I've watched her amazing acumen to pace. She has the fortitude to wait out the silence... more voice comes to life... and when participants begin to share wisdom, it takes a session to the top...
