Squirts of Serotonin and Gold Mugs Build Blogging Community

Brain Serotonin Mug Club Weber QAQNA

Ellen Weber squirts serotonin to others daily on her blog at BrainBasedBusiness.com. Last week Ellen received a big shot of serotonin from QAQNA’s,Tom Vander Well.

Naturally, Ellen was curious about a small box in the mail, since she “hadn’t ordered anything.' In Ellen’s fashion she wasted no time and ripped open the box to see a gold mug nestled inside.

“It’s 24 karat gold and it’s the real thing! How can anyone afford to do it? Unbelievable.”

Later Ellen learned that she had been named as a Mug Club Member by Tom Vanderwell! Tom generously named Ellen a winner becaise she's an uber-blogger, she has unique content and she's an ambassador of good will. I'd add that it's just plain fun to pick her amazing brain!

Interestingly, as Ellen and I talked in past, Tom Vander Well’ s name was mentioned as a blogger Ellen admires. I was really curious about why Ellen enjoyed Tom’s blog so much. When I asked, she said she likes to go there because she finds…


"Humanity and business wisdom that doesn’t seem to have any concrete lines between them."

"Tom just amazes me."

"I’m inspired by his questions…they’re unusual and yet I feel like they’ve been around the block a few times."

"He makes me laugh!

"He pushes me to do things in new ways."

"I like the way he tolerates ambiguity."

"I just like digging around in Tom’s stories. Some days he sees the same problems I see in business and he’s willing to take a risk… so he inspires me to take one, too."

"He writes about all the things I care about…and he responds to these in ways I never would think of."

"Tom’s like a 'bro.' He’d be fun to talk about significant things or just laugh about silly things."

"Tom nudges customers up the mountain ahead of him and offers a commentary to the rest of us about how well they'll reach the top."

"His blog is just cool!"

Ellen and Tom bring surprises and fun to the blogsophere as they build community. How will you squirt serotonin and build community with bloggers you enjoy?

Are You Truly the Person You Want to Be?

Or is Stress Getting in Your Way?

Serotonin Stress

Are you the person you would like to be? Where do you see yourself five or ten years from now? If you haven’t asked yourself these questions, you might be much too busy and likely stressed. How can you tell?

First, check your stress level by taking this MSNBC quiz. As you reflect to answer the questions, you’ll likely see your life in a new way. And, once you submit your responses, you’ll have an assessment of where you stand. How did you rate?

Under more stress than you realized? If you find yourself saying, “I thrive on challenges and stress,” consider ways tension affects your body. Did you note that two-thirds of all illnesses are stress related and that 55% of us are stressed at work?

Since this blog focuses on the brain, notice the effects:

• Dilation of cranial arteries resulting in migraine, sleep problems and interference with the brain's neurotransmitters which results in "stage fright", memory and concentration problems, difficulty making decisions, dizziness and fainting.

Not good, since the older you is determined by the life you live now! What can you do without putting yourself in more stress to do it?

While, laughter, exercise, music, or gardening act as quick fixes to counter immediately stressful events, many folks are caught in an overall stress cycle, at home, work and even play. Are you steamed when you miss that golf swing or do you feel like tossing your computer out your window when you followed directions to adjust the template on a web site and it doesn’t work even for the third try? Obviously you are not the person you would like to be. But how can you change this? Let’s consider how to be the person you want to be! After all, you are in charge here.

Start with targets. What is your life goal? Not just a trip you want to take or something you want to buy, but the person you really want to be! What would it take to get there without a lot of stress?

Let’s set easy targets. Suppose you want to be a “kinder, gentler you who is more happy-go-lucky.”

First, see yourself as you describe. And, don’t just think about it, actually do it! Purposeful action brings pleasure and well-being. The hormone Serotonin squirts into your brain and counters stress. I suggest you begin by being good to you. Here’s how:

• Take time for a half hour walk and just soak in the sounds, the color and the feel of you in this world – fill your senses. Set aside time for this activity more in the coming month. This is a gentle place to start and you’ll begin to be more in touch with yourself.

• Enjoy a board game or activity with someone close to you who is fun. Isn’t life more meaningful when you enjoy others and vice versa?

Second, reflect on where you want to see yourself in five and ten years from now. If it isn’t at your current job, what are the steps you need to take to begin a change? You will gather more purpose and pleasure when you move on the journey to be the person you want to be.

Here’s a quick tip to bring more pleasure to you today – when you meet others, look them in the eye and smile. Don’t walk by as if they are invisible. Usually you’ll get a great response. and you’ll find yourself developing a happier mindset throughout your day.

And…you’ll begin to be the person you want to be and the person you want others to see in you!

Stay Positive to Negotiate Winning Deals!

Negotiate Positive Negative Brain Business

Want results when you're bargaining? Settle your next contract, agree on your job description or land that elusive deal! What's the formula? Unmistakably, it’s Staying Positive! By using positive approaches, you bring Serotonin, a hormone of well-being to your negotiation table.

According to forthcoming research in the Journal of Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, positive and negative negotiating behaviors greatly influence your take-aways! For example, "managers are twice as likely to close a deal with opponents when friendly, cooperative, and empathetic in preference to aggressive and insistent behaviors" as Shirli Kopelman of University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business along with colleagues, Ashleigh Shelby Rosette of Duke University and Leigh Thompson of Northwestern University, discovered.

How would you assess your current negotiation skills? When you approach a beehive, will you walk away with a honey comb or a bee sting? Interestingly, Kopelman discovered that “negotiators who strategically display positive rather than negative emotions are more likely to preserve valuable business relationships, gain concessions and persuade opposing parties to accept their offers, and thus, more frequently close deals.”

So, if you decide to stand firm on hiking your price on a computer programming contract and give potential clients a take-it-or-leave it ultimatum on price, how does that affect your outcome? Adversely! Kopelman concludes that managers, who take a hard line and a negative approach when they negotiate, are less likely to land the contract.

For example, participants in Kopelman’s study had the option of accepting or rejecting a wedding catering firm's price hike when no future business relationship was at stake and they could simply walk away from the negotiations and hire a different caterer. Significantly more opted to reject the deal. Further analysis shows that negotiators who viewed a video clip of this negative manager’s actions were “inclined to pay substantially less for the catering service, and this affected their receptivity to her offer.”

Similarly, "Negotiators responding to the positive display of emotion were nearly twice as likely to sign a deal," Kopelman said. "…positive emotional display may be more effective in achieving objectives, as well as retaining and embarking on a future business relationship."

So how exactly how do you take a positive approach at the bargaining table if you currently tend toward negativity? I’d suggest you start by distancing yourself from emotions!

To learn more positive strategies in negotiation, use approaches that bring Serotonin to the table by using Ellen Weber’s brain based tips :

Adopt Positive Self-Talk

Focus on Good Results

Adopt Neuron Pathways Beyond Blame

Grow New Smart Skills

My two-bits:

Ask clients thoughtful questions concentrating on their needs. More than likely this leads both parties to adjust prices for individual components, and you’ll find a win/win… And, on the other side of the table, clients may be surprised to see the “caterer” is willing to adjust and design a package which fits their needs and provides ease on the wallet.

Ensure the person at the other side of the table speaks more than you. People love to talk when they have a rapt audience. A little more listening and attentiveness could positively influence your bargaining.

Try these strategies... let me know your outcomes!

Why Is It Harder for Some People to Deal with Negativity than Others?

Negativity Negative Cortisol Serotonin

Just like the negative image in this blog, we all take on negatives at times...Are you aware when they enter? Have you ever considered that negativity works against you? If you are unaware of ways negatives affect your well being, there’s a good chance that you fall prey to the web of negativity daily. Fact is, when you fall prey to negativity you cannot easily deal with it.

To test this out, try an experiment for a day. How many times did events spur a negative comment from you or cause you to feel like a fish face or steam on the inside? And…how many times did your self-talk include words like, “I’m not smart enough to...” “I can’t possibly…” “Other people can do this well, but I’m not as smart…” “I’m not up to…” “I just don’t have skills to…” Keep track of how many times you respond negatively throughout your day. This will give you a quick idea of where you stand. At the same time you become more aware of your own negativity, you will also notice how others give positive or negative responses.

Why should you fight against negativity in your life? Please consider these outcomes of positive and negative actions and reactions:

Positives enhance -- Negatives destroy
**********************************************************

Encouragement "lifts up" -- Criticism "puts down"

Mercy forgives or pardons -- Judgments accuse condemn

Positives bring Serotonin to the brain a hormone of well being -- Negatives bring Cortisol a hormone that shuts you down

Positives lead you to achieve goals – Negatives bring regrets and lost hopes

What do these mean to you? How can you escape negativity’s quagmire? I suggest you pry yourself loose and enjoy more positive results by intentionally changing your reactions. Over a week consider the difference in the way others react to you. You'll discover more Serotonin, the hormone that brings you well being.

For great strategies to overcome negatives, Check out Ellen Weber's excellent advice:

How to Work with Difficult People

Does Negative Reinforcement Still Come to the Water Cooler at Work?

Back news Brings Bad Business to Your Firm – Why Not Start Your Day with Serotonin for Success

Brian Norris and Career Planning provide excellent tips on how to deal with negatives in the workplace. Norris provides great tools for managers to overcome negativity:

1. Take control of your reality
2. Develop a positive attitude – it is the foundation for employees sense of reality
3. Hold “bitch” session and ask for two solutions for every problem presented
4. Moderate the flow of gossip
5. Confront the behavior

Leaders at Career Planning discovered that at times negativity can be a a “good” thing since negativity “brings existing problems out of the darkness.” But, organizations can’t stay in the dark and prosper, so forward thinking leaders are advised to:

1. Make sure your criticism is constructive – offer solutions
2. Take action
3. Don’t fix what isn’t broken

If negativity darkened your image in past, why not develop a new picture?

Develop the "Flip side" to Overcome Negativity at Work

Negativity Question Change

What do you do when someone criticizes a manager at work? Do you jump right in to add more details? One phenomenon about negativity is that it breeds more negatives. Have you ever noticed that? Next time you hear someone in a meeting offer a “criticism” quietly take note of what follows and you’ll quickly see what I mean. But, what to do?

One way to deal with negativity is to “run from negative people.” If you are prone to fall into negativity when you are around a negative person, then running from them is a first step to defeat the negatives in your life. But, once you've learned to do this, what other steps might you take?

Lately I’ve reflected more about other approaches to negatives that come to each of us daily. All of us are in the position of dealing with negative people that we simply can’t avoid. When Ellen Weber interviewed Dr. Sam Walton to learn his views on creativity in in relation to his life experiences, he said, “a problem is the flip side of an opportunity.” This strategy help you move in a new direction as you deal with negative people. I suggest two additional approaches to begin changing the way you deal with negativity:

“Flip side” mindset: If you can adopt a “flip side” mindset, you’ll find it easier to overcome problems that in past propelled negative thinking. By immediately seeking a solution to turn a problem around, you are setting up a challenge for your brain. The human brain thrives on puzzles and challenges. Our brains shoot into solution mode when presented with a challenge even though we are unaware of the activity in our subconscious.

Question possibilities: A second strategy is to ask the person a question that turns the problem to a possibility. For instance, if someone at work tells you, “You'll soon get a pink slip because Joe Doe just received his and it is only a matter of time…” You might ask something like, “What are your plans for a new job…where would you enjoy working?” This immediately changes the focus from the negative into something that could work for and energize that person. But to generate the flip side, you should ask question almost immediately to prevent negativity from mushrooming.

Consider the flip side and questioning for possibilities as starting places to create positive outcomes... and less failure when negatives might otherwise stifle positive outcomes at your work place.

What solutions would you suggest?

Hospitality -- Transforms Networking

Hospitality Networking Interpersonal Strategies

How many networking events have you been invited to lately? You know, the ones you attend so you can launch your business or gain new customers? I’ve been to a few and rarely did I find new networking partners after all the cheese and crackers… Why?... Facts is, all the other folks there were more or less in competition for the same customers… so in most cases not many new alliances were formed. OK, so what possibilities are there to form supportive bonds in today’s business climate? Have you ever considered hospitality in your own home?

Hospitality is an adventure of sorts as a new way to know and support others in business. In an age where social isolation is a trend, hospitality brings lasting and meaningful friendships in a business community. At the MITA Center, Dr. Ellen Weber and I invite many business leaders into a home environment to enjoy a meal. That takes time and effort given our busy schedules, but the more we do it, we gain friendships with many new and very supportive networking partners.

Here are tips for great hospitality:

The idea is to “give” rather than to “get” Hospitality is more about the other person. Consider this as a way to value someone you admire and respect. “Just do it” without the idea you want something at the end.

Lavish others with no holds barred This is not about cheap, but about providing a meal fit for royalty – only the best. Yes, it costs time and effort to be hospitable, but rewards are beyond anything monetary. Every time Ellen and I invite business folks for a meal, we gain new “friends of the Center.”

Create ambiance Linen tablecloths, napkins, candles, and fresh flowers, along with just the right music in the background, create an amazing and welcoming environment. In the summer we really enjoy taking guests outside to the gazebo, where guests can enjoy the greenery and birds lighting on a feeder within a few feet. It is a true oasis from work environments and typical restaurants and folks delight in it.

Serve others It’s easy to pay someone else or have a wife or husband do the work, but something remarkable happens when you serve others yourself. Serving is a key to meaningful hospitality. Do what you do best and begin with something simple – even if it is to arrange a picnic in the back yard. Hospitality is something you initiate and do.

Focus on guests in your conversations Thoughtful conversations occur when you learn to bring out the best in your guests. I’m sure you want to discuss more than the weather! How? By asking two-footed questions. No doubt you have commonalities with guests, but as you learn to ask two-footed questions, you will bring out their best because you give them the stage. They delight in telling their stories, dreams, concerns…

Enjoy your time and don’t rush One of the most amazing realities about hospitality is that you do not know where it will lead. Hospitality is the beginning of an adventure with others and the end results are there waiting for you!

Music Can Move Your Brain Waves to Benefit You!

How?

No doubt you've watched a child, "shake his bootie" when he hears fast-beat music. Or you've sung a soft lullaby to rock her to sleep. Music moves our brian waves. Research shows us how....

Red and green jagged lines scroll across the computer screen as soft “bubbling creek” music plays in the McDaniel College lab. From the intensity of the spikes, students read the wave of activity in their professor’s right- and left-brain hemispheres.

What are these brain waves and how do they work? According to Dimitri Valouev, Institute of Higher Nervous Activity & Neuro-physiology, Moscow, there are four brain waves, BETA, ALPHA, THETA, DELTA described as follows:

Good BETA & Bad BETA frequencies…Good Beta correspond to states of great clarity....
Bad Beta correspond to "hyperactive", compulsive behaviours.

ALPHA waves -- When we close our eyes & relax inside the electric activity of our brain produces somewhat slower waves. When we are in Alpha, we can visualize scenes on our inner psychic screen, our imagination becomes vivid, we are peaceful & relaxed .

THETA, In deeper states yet, we reach a slower type of activity, a precise signal that we are in highly creative states, able to shuffle down information and reshuffle it into other new directions. In these creative or flow states we can have sudden intuitions giving us seemingly ready-made insights & new solutions to old unresolved problems (the EUREKA state!).

DELTA waves -- Very very slow waves corresponding to unconscious information processing, subconscious scanning of environment to find important information for survival ...We can learn to develop and recognize these different brain waves & access to our higher potential.

So how do these brain wave facts affect us? If we use music to alter our brain waves, we can enhance our creativity or diminish times of stress. Don Campbell’s findings show our heart responds to music. Heart rates speed up or slow down to match the music we hear. The faster the music, the faster the heart beats! Like slower breathing, lower heartbeat creates less stress and helps the body heal itself.

Ellen Weber provides a great list based on Campbell’s Mozart Effect so that you can select kinds of music to match your needs.

Heavy metal and hip-hop excites our nervous system, and sometimes leads us into acting out dynamic behavior and self-expression.

Rock, from Elvis Presley to the Rolling Stones, stirs passion and activity, and so can release daily tensions. Rock can also mask pain and cover up unpleasant noises. It also has the power to create dissonance, stress or physical pain if we are not in the mood for energizing.

Salsa, rhumba, merengue and any form of South American music sets our hearts racing, gets us moving, both relaxing us and awakening us at the same time. Top 40, Country or

Big Band, engages our emotions and comfort us.

Jazz, blues, soul or calypso can uplift and inspire us, releasing deep joy or even deep sadness, conveying wit and affirming our common humanity.

Classical, such as Haydn and Mozart, often improves concentration and memory when played in the background.

Slower Baroque, such as Bach, Handel, Vivaldi or Corelli, can create mentally stimulating environments for creativity and new innovations.

Romantic – such as, Schubert, Schumann, Tchaikovsky , Chopin and Liszt, enhances our senses and increases a sense of sympathy and love.

Religious and sacred, such as hymns and gospel moves us to feel grounded in the moment, and leads to deep peace and spiritual awareness. Sacred music often helps us to transcend pain.

Impressionist, such as Debussy, Faure and Ravel, can unlock dreamlike images that put us in touch with our unconscious thoughts and belief systems.

Ambient or New Age, such as Stephen Halpern and Brian Eno has no dominant rhythm, so it elongates the sense of space and time, inducing a state of relaxed alertness.
Gregorian chant creates quiet in our minds and can reduce stress.

Why not begin experimenting and see how different kinds of music can improve your next project?

Music Brain Waves Brain