Doing the UN-Thinkable

Pamela is ready for the holidays year-round because she loves watching Dr. Seuss - How the Grinch Stole Christmas and even snagged a copy of The Grinch Grinches The Cat In The Hat and Grinch Night but, thankfully, drew the line at the live-action version. She even loves Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer plus the highly cheesy spin-offs, Rudolph's Shiny New Year and Rudolph & Frosty's Christmas in July.

But, that is not what was un-thinkable about yesterday . . .

For the first time in her life, Pamela succumbed to the Black Friday hoopla and decided we were going shopping on that ominous day. Ominous because I hate shopping and the day I hate most to shop is black Friday! However, I will do anything for Pamela and we braved Walmart together in search of stuff for an elder basket and an angel tree child. Fortunately, because we waited until after lunch shop, we did not witness any stampeding shoppers. Of course, in a town south of the Mason-Dixon line with population 4,000, one would not expect such unladylike behavior.

We picked out three of four items on the wish list of a four-year-old girl who is part of the angel tree program hosted by our church for foster care children in our area. Pamela enjoyed picking out a Baby Alive Sip 'N Snooze for she thoroughly adores the Baby Alive (a baby, not a D-O-L-L) she received for Christmas last year. She scratched and sniff all three kinds of Dora dolls present (lemon, cotton candy, and cherry) and chose lemon, of course: Stylish Scents Dora- Lemon Drop. She smiled when she tested out the Vtech Write and Learn Letter Pad and wrote a letter on the pad. We included extra batteries that came with a wind-up panda toy plus two books: The Animals' Christmas Eve and God Knows All about Me.

Our church also participates in an elder basket program in which people fill an ordinary laundry basket with packaged food, personal care, and household items. Pamela helped me pick out items for our basket and I used up the rest of the baby blanket cotton yarn on a Basket Weave dishcloth, nubby-scrubby washcloth, and extra thick potholder and I still have enough remaining to knockout another basket weave dishcloth I plan to include two bars of Ivory soap for the under-a-dollar gift I'm supposed to bring to the monthly Bible study class next month.


David, the giant, jolly elf, decorated the Christmas tree. He also terrified our gentle parakeet Lily by putting a gargantuan lifelike bird on top of the cage. She flustered about the cage, so he took it off after a minute and replaced it with less intimidating froppery. And, when he was not busy entertaining the neighbor's grandsons, David took a picture of the Arwenator wearing a Santa hat . . . I guess all that hard work makes up for the disappearance of half a container of ice cream, egg nog, and pumpkin pie . . .


Steve nearly finished his mammoth to-do list, which included doing Christmas cards, which he decorated with the most interesting collection of stamps. . .

Thankful Thursday Thanksgiving Meme

I found this meme at a knitting blog:

1. Which do you like better: Cooking at your house, or going elsewhere? Hint: Last year, we served champagne in Dora the Explorer paper cups last New Year's Eve. I am not Martha Stewart, nor do I play her on television. Of course, I prefer going elsewhere so I do not have to overextend my meager decorating and culinary skills!

2. Do you buy a fresh or frozen bird? I buy frozen, or better yet a ham to avoid being the subject of any thanksgiving horror stories. While my dad is brave enough to manage a fried turkey without blowing up the house, I am better off with a plain-old, garden-variety ham!

3. What kind of stuffing? I like gluten-free, casein-free cornbread stuffing with mushrooms, nuts, and other goodies (but no innards or oysters, please); Steve prefers Stove Top when he is not visiting his mother, who makes fabulous stuffing that I cannot match!

4. Sweet potato or pumpkin pie? About the only thing I can do well is a gluten-free, casein-free pumpkin pie, made with a nut crust, except for this year because I blackened the outer edge in honor of my Cajun friends.

5. Do you believe that turkey leftovers are a curse, or the point of the whole thing? Any leftover is a blessing in the home of the anti-Martha Stewart! I grew up on Exxon Valdez stew (leftovers with a splash of lard to stick to your ribs).

6. Which side dish would provoke a riot if you left it off the menu? I am pleading the fifth because none of my side dishes are that popular.

7. Do you save the carcass to make soup or stock? Yes, I do and that is why I am the Queen of the Crockpot!

8. What do you wish you had that would make preparing Thanksgiving dinner easier? I wish I had someone else to do the cooking. Oh, wait, I do! It's my husband, Steve!

9. Do you get up at the crack of dawn to have dinner ready in the early afternoon, or do you eat at your normal dinner hour? Snort! We eat dinner when it is done. The year we lived in Oliver's Fun House in a fishing village in Alaska (see the image I found online of one--no, that is not me nor did I ever smile while cooking on my oil stove), the turkey wasn't ready because our dual-purpose stove (which heated the house and the hot water heater, neither very well) had a cracked kiln. We could not crank up the thing to avoid sooting up the house. So, we rotated the bird periodically to eat it evenly.

10. If you go to somebody else's house, what's your favorite dish to bring? I always bring homemade cranberry conserve and pumpkin pie!

11. What do you wish one of your guests wouldn't bring to your house? I guess it would have to be Senor Influenza!

12. Does your usual mix of guests result in drama, or is it a group you're happy to see? We keep it small and cozy to avoid the drama for my momma, who lives across the street from us.

13. What's your absolute favorite thing on the menu? My absolute favorite thing on any menu is dessert!

14. What are you thankful for this year?

• We live in a country where we can speak freely, worship God freely, and homeschool!
• My husband is a great breadwinner, who does not mind cooking or helping out with the house.
• My two kids have taught me so much about patience and never giving up.
• Our extended family loves and accepts our autistic sweetie pie for who she is.
• I am thankful for my local skin friend (and the one who moved away last spring), my skin friends from high school and college, and all of the aut-2b-home, homeschool, RDI, CM, gf/cf, whatever cyber friends.

G1 reviews

Some G1 reviews from the industry press:

Mobile magazine

MacNews World

Sydney Morning Herald

Information Week

Driving Under Influence of Cells

Bailey Goodman and four recent Fairport High grads drove to the Finger Lakes to enjoy time together before summer took them in new directions... On the way, Bailey's cell jingled arrival of a friend's text message. What's up? A curious teen would look to see... Thirty-eight seconds later, someone called 911 to report the fiery collision with a tractor trailer, which snuffed out lives of Bailey and her four friends. Phone records show the phone in use at the time of the collision. Ever wonder whether the human brain can focus on texting and driving all at once?

Joanna Young quizzed me, too, in comments following Kickstart Cellphone Smarts...

I wonder if it's maybe also the need for speed and the fear of missing something if we delay the transaction for another time when it's more convenient.

"Just listening to a cell phone while driving is a significant distraction," according to Carnegie Mellon University scientists, "and it causes drivers to commit some of the same types of driving errors that can occur under the influence of alcohol."

The use of cell phones, including dialing and texting, has long been a safety concern for drivers. But the Carnegie Mellon study, for the first time, used brain imaging to document that listening alone reduces by 37 percent the amount of brain activity associated with driving. This can cause drivers to weave out of their lane, based on the performance of subjects using a driving simulator.

Compounded by curiosity to "know" now, and not later, a typical teen's attention quickly moves from the road to the cell's new text message.

"Drivers need to keep not only their hands on the wheel; they also have to keep their brains on the road," said neuroscientist Marcel Just, Director, Center for Cognitive Brain Imaging.

Problem is the brain's ability to multitask. Some research shows that drivers engage in a distracting activity on an average one every six minutes, which frequently results in driving errors and road accidents. In fact, distraction causes one in five crashes in Australia.

"They were the nicest girls," said Elaine Deignan, the cheerleading coach. "They were the most respectful, pleasant and fun to be around. Just really good people."

Accidents that involve cells can be avoided. Ready to delay finding out who's so anxious to reach you and know what they want? Let's shut off our cells to avoid D.U.I.

This blog is my second contribution to Brad Shorr's challenge to write on cell phone abuse.

Kickstart Cellphone Smarts!

Three ladies at Applebees sat a few feet from our table. My hubby and I looked over our menu as the three of them chatted in the background. Moments later one of the ladies pulled out her cell phone and started to talk though the other two ladies sat across from her. She completely ignored them. The woman's highly pitched voice quickly raised two or three decibels as her "angry" conversation drowned ability to hear my hubby. Ever experience this?

Do rude cell phone users annoy you daily? Unfortunately that happens more than I like. For instance, last night I went to a presentation by Jean-Claude Brizard, titled "Building a Community of Excellence." Brizard talked of his vision to eliminate dropouts in the Rochester city school system and revitalize education here. Amazingly, a gentleman sitting behind us must have thought himself more important than Dr. Brizard. His cell phone went off during the talk. I watched him put his phone to his ear and wondered if he would talk. Why do many cell phone users seem oblivious to other people right around them?

Might this rudeness connect to lack of focus? self-importance? a deficit in manners? lack of civility? unawareness? Could be one or all depending on the case...

Great news is that peoples' brains can be rebooted to strengthen interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences. These two of the eight multiple intelligences, named and researched by Dr. Howard Gardner of Harvard University, can be seen in distinct regions of the brain through MRI's.

Here's a descriptor of these two intelligences...

Interpersonal [Social] Intelligence - includes the capacity to discern and respond appropriately to the moods, temperaments, motivations, and desires of other people.

Intrapersonal Intelligence - includes accurate self-knowledge, access to one's feelings and the ability to discriminate among them to direct behavior. Weber, E. (2005) MI Strategies in the Classroom and Beyond. Pearson Publishers.

Try rebooting with these strategies...

Teach teens good manners. We learn as we teach and we also retain more by teaching others. What if we taught our teens good phone manners by explaining how it can be done? We'd certainly learn that we needed to be courteous about how loudly we speak and to activate our buzzer in a public building with many people there. Then model it.

Reflect to adjust and change. Ask yourself questions related to your surroundings so that you know how you affect others. By doing so, this will lead you to build within yourself the capacity to show courtesy, kindness, and self control.

Additionally, humorous ads from cell phone companies would help kickstart people's smarts connected to ways they use cell phones in public places.

What positive strategies come to your mind to turn around cell phone abuse?

This blog's a contribution to help introduce Dr. Mike O’Malley's newly published book called Cell Hell - 55 Cell Phone Users You’d Like to Silence.. Brad Shorr's running a contest in which you could win $500.00, if you'd like to enter.

Wordless Wednesday: Nine-Inch Nails

As a Writer - I Can

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.
-- Author Unknown

Would you say you're a fairly good writer? If your immediate response is, "no," you may hold a myth about yourself, as I did. Notions of Robyn as writer... never! In high school I wrote with a textbook style - complying with course requirements. Adequate but boring! Recent doctoral studies required adding terms "experts" in my field recognize. So, I struggled in writing about discoveries and findings.

Interestingly, I began to reject the earlier myth about myself when I began to blog. By playing with ideas and experimenting with writing strategies, and thinking, "I can," the myth began to fade away. At the same time I rebooted my brain the more I practiced writing with new approaches.

Ellen Weber helped knock down myths that I held about my abilities as a writer. For starters...

1. Ask how to grow efficient skills rather than believe "I can't." I purchased books by Natalie Goldberg, Madeline L'Engle and others.

2. Focus on the way others write blogs and note what I enjoy about their writing. Tried new approaches... For instance, I looked at ways other bloggers opened and closed their articles.

3. Adopt the mindset that "I can" write. Then I began to experiment. Old myths fade the more I write and readers react so positively.

4. Learn to ask more two-footed questions about the topic before writing. Then I sleep on questions and my brain works on these as I slumber. New inspirations fill my mind by morning.

5. Use short sentences for emphasis Compact much information in few words to challenge the old noodle and pare down longer convoluted sentences

6. Add to other peoples' good ideas New information appears daily as others show smarts in many areas where I'm a learner. Highlighting their ideas and actions as they relate to the brain opens new perspectives. It's a win-win.

7. Make sure verbs have punch I fell into using "is, was, have, has," and worse yet "have been." Good editing helped.

Joanna Young challenged readers to share how they're experimenting with writing... Ideas warmed on the stove... Mysteriously, adding tasty spices helped inspire this post.

I continue to grow as I experiment with more writing strategies... Seems like Robyn as Writer developed into a life-long process.

Ready to experiment and grow as a writer? Stay tuned to Confident Writing for excellent tips and challenges.

County Champs!

Tonight was David's last soccer game for the year. He did not start playing soccer until three years ago. He has been playing on the same team for our county recreational league since we moved here: the first year they won, last year they lost, and this year they won again (there are three teams). The first two years, David played defense, but this year, his coach moved him up to midfield! He started out the year playing the mininum required quarters (two), but tonight he played all four quarters--I was so excited for him! He is definitely more aggressive with going after the ball and has enough control to pass it to other players. He does not have the skill of the teammates who probably started handling a ball as soon as they could walk, but he has made great progress in the past three years.

Tonight the weather was brutally cold: my car said 38 degrees Fahrenheit, but, according to weather.com, that felt like 32 because of the mild wind. As you can see, I bundled up and am so thankful for the alpaca poncho that Steve bought for me on his first trip to Chile. I was fairly warm with all of the layers (three pairs of socks, one of which was thermal). But, still . . . it's cold out there and the weatherguessers are predicting freezing cold temperatures tonight!

Experiencing Electronic Overload?

"My brain has stopped working -" Ann Michael commented, "I'm turning off all electronic devices for a 'reboot.'" Ever feel you're on electronic overload? I do at times, Ann. How do folks slip into high gear again?

I nudged Ann to try a 20 minute power nap for a pick-me-up. At this point, Ann clarified the problem and posed a question... "It isn't that I'm tired it's just that I've been looking at a screen (whether large or small) for too long - any remedies for that????"

Ann, there's a reason your brain's tired and wants rebooting. Your working memory's on overload. No doubt, you viewed hundreds of images on your screen. Using the working memory takes energy. Working memory has limited slots compared to the parts of your brain that store long term memories. For example, visualize the amount of water a thimble holds compared to a water glass. This helps you approximate the size of the working memory compared to the basal ganglia.

Interestingly, of all the images on your screen, you remember the striking ones or those that hold import. Why? Because your working memory's very small. Images without much meaning "spill out." Since the brain has no need to store images you won't need in future, it "forgets" these on purpose. Can you see why you had the feeling you needed to "reboot your brain?"

Okay, Ann, if you've looked at your computer screen too long, here're several activities to bring relief...

1. Tea-break option. Stu Carter of the UK set his computer to flash a picture of a cup of tea on the screen every hour. When he sees it, Stu leaves his computer for five minutes to get some tea.

2. Run up and down stairs for five. Set a timer to go off at hourly intervals and run up and down stairs. This will spike oxygen flow to your body and brain.

3. Put on headphones and tap your feet to music. This can help keep your circulation going and help you to concentrate. Music moves your brain waves in ways that help your focus at the same time.

4. Walk to the water cooler every hour. Friends gather here so you can share humor and drink a glass of water. Water fuels your brain so drink up. Humor releases serotonin, a brain hormone, that relieves some of your stressors.

5. Focus on objects at varied distances. Close your eyes and take five deep breaths; look into the distance or at a photo of a distant scene; look at something very close (your shirt button or your nose) then look out the window; turn your head from side to side and let your eyes skim over objects in front of you; close your eyes and remember a time when you felt relaxed and calm; get up and stretch.

6. Alternate computer activities with other tasks. Keep a to-do list on your desk so that you can easily set a pattern.

7. Use artificial tears to moisten dry eyes. Sitting at your computer can dry your eyes so the "tears" make a difference.

8. Adjust lighting near computer to avoid glare and reflections. Also try a non-glare filter over your monitor

9. If you wear glasses, be sure to include a UV filter and transition lenses. I find my transition lenses not only prevent too much sun outside, they help ease eye strain from work at the computer.

10. Blink frequently. When you work at a computer screen, likely you tend to stare and do not blink as much as you might otherwise. Focus on blinking more to prevent discomfort of dry eyes.

We all need new strategies to "reboot our brain," Ann, especially when we sit at our computers too long.

What tips might you add for Ann or for that matter for yourself... to relieve long hours at your computer screen... especially to keep your brain at full tilt?

Operation Christmas Child

Before I get to the main course, I have to share two appetizers. Yesterday, Pamela did two lovely things.

When David came downstairs, ready for church, he sat on a chair to watch television. Pamela walked into the room, and he said, "Good morning, Pamela!" She walked to him, gave him a big hug, and said, "Good morning!"

Later, at church, Pamela was being very static about Steve's traveling schedule next week. He told her he was flying to Atlanta on Thursday, but she was trying to convince him to drive instead. He explained that the flight to Atlanta is short, but it would take eight hours to drive there. She still thought her idea was better. She tapped him on his forehead and said, "Use your brain!" This was pure Pamela because we have never said nor done such a thing to her!

This year, Pamela and I put together a shoe box for Samaritan's Purse's Operation Christmas Child. Pamela decided to do a box for a little girl between the ages of five to nine. On Friday, we walked to a local discount store, bought a plastic container, and filled it with toys. Since we are working on living with uncertainty, I showed Pamela some money and put it in my pocket. We went on a walk, but I did not tell her where I was going. Clearly, she was curious because she asked me about it half-way to the store (there are several stores within walking distance of our house). However, she was collected enough to avoid the static on our walk and made lovely comments about what we experienced on the way.


On Friday, we bought all kinds of toys (a Beanie Baby doll, yo-yo, jump rope, ball, pink boa, and Slinky), school supplies (glue, markers, and crayons), and personal items (a handmade washcloth--I crocheted it, soap, barrettes, comb, toothbrush, toothpaste, and pretty socks). Pamela focused intently on her mission and did not always communicate well. When pointing the way, she did not always check to see if I am paying attention. As usual, I talked too much! I love her little asides . . . "I stole it" (when I told her I lost the list), "Ha, never mind!" (after I found the list), "No, I can't! How come?" (when she was ready to stop), "Over there, I told you" (after I failed to follow her). I loved our little problem-solving moment at the end when we were deciding if the box of crayons might fit. And, of course, I accidentally left one segment upside down . . . I'm tired, cold, and cranky and I'm leaving it as is!


On Sunday, Pamela typed a short letter with a picture of her and her babies. We wrapped the box and took it to church to meet today's deadline. First, we packed the box. Pamela focused on packing but did pause to make a couple of comments about the glue made in Columbus, Ohio, the Beanie Baby doll not being an animal, and the soft boa. She adjusted to me when I suggested doing the big things first, picking a better spot for the yo-yo, and looking at the musical toothbrush after I shook it.


When we wrapped the present, we kept our roles fluid to create uncertainty. Sometimes, I cut the tape and she placed it on the gift, and, at other times, it was vice versa. After we finished, we talked about what the little girl receiving the present might say and our favorite things in the gift. She was so delightful and really seemed to enjoy putting together the shoe box.


Here are some close-up shots of our box and all of the boxes our church donated.




Our next big projects are delivering meals on Thanksgiving and putting together an elder basket for Santee tribes in our state (due November 30).

Prodding Your Patience?

Ever experience tension as you wait and wish the world would move faster? People today are pushed to accomplish tasks quickly - especially at work. "We are addicted to speed," according to Carl Honore, "to cramming more and more into every minute. Every moment of the day feels like a race against the clock, a dash to a finish line that we never seem to reach." Do you find you have to prod your patience against all this?

Roadrunner days can lead higher cortisol levels in our body and brain. What's the difference if I have higher cortisol? Dr. Ellen Weber explains effects of high cortisol and ways to put on the brakes...

What are you doing to live patiently and how is it working for you?

Breathtaking!

Pamela surprised me today several times in very promising ways:

1. Pamela is loosening up on the "sacred hour" which has been an institution around here since before we started RDI. She used to be quite adamant about watching television between noon and one, kicking David out for the duration. She only allowed exceptions for travel and for expected appointments away from home. I have noticed her loosening up on the sacred hour for the past two weeks. Today, David called me and said, "Mom! Look at the time." It was 12:25 and Pamela was soaking up rays on the back porch.

A few minutes later, Pamela happily checks to see if we have GF/CF chicken broth so she can make alphabet soup when we get back from shopping.

2. We drove to Walmart and picked up a couple of things. My mind was on all the things I had to get done today and it was Pamela who pointed out some girls' underwear with Sponge Bob, Dora, the Little Mermaid, etc. Although it was a short interaction, I felt she was truly sharing joint attention with me. Later, we looked at the books and she pointed out different picture books to me.

3. Then, a mini-miracle happened. We were heading over to the self-checkout and bumped into a kindly lady I know from church. Pamela has been staying home from church, and I am hoping she will choose to go with us one of these days. She had not seen this lady in ages, so I introduced her as J.B.'s mom (J.B. rented a house to us for 18 months and Pamela knows his name and who he is, so this was my way of scaffolding interest). The lady said, "Hi, Pamela, I’m N."

Pamela smiled and said, "Where are you from?"

N. needed me to repeat Pamela's question and said in a very engaging way, "Why, I'm from Manning, just like you." She patted Pamela on the arm.

Then, Pamela said, "I was born in Alaska."

"Alaska? It's so cold in Alaska."

"Yes. Where's David?"

I told N. that David was at home. Then she said, "Was David bad?"

Pamela shook her head and said, "No. David's not bad." Pamela likes to cheer people up after an argument (which we did not have with David today), so she gave me a hug.

Then, N. said, "Why Pamela, I just love hugs!"

And, Pamela hugged her. Pamela asked to go sit on the bench and I agreed. N. told her goodbye and Pamela waved to her!

4. And, if that wasn't enough, Pamela had brought a thick stack of old photographs in the car. While I was driving, she would make comments. Usually, she talks about the state, time zone, and/or Chinese astrological sign for the year the picture was taken. Today, she made very declarative comments with very little of the static.

She looked at a picture of a bunch of us midshipmen jumping into the pool with full dress uniform. Pamela said, "Swimming pool." So, I said, "Did you see what we were wearing?" She laughed and said, "Yes, clothes!" (I am one of the people in the blur . . . after the final parade before graduation, we all jump in a pool to celebrate because we no longer need those uniforms . . . crazy tradition, huh?)


Pamela was very fascinated by a picture of Hawaiians standing on boats at the Polynesian Culture Center in Hawaii. She said, "Boats." I told her that her dad took Grandma and Grandpa there when he lived in Hawaii. (This was before he and I met!)

She showed me another picture from the same place. I told her that Lisa met her husband Johnny at the center when he worked there. Last summer, we met Johnny and their beautiful daughter Leilani for the first time. (Lisa and I met in high school in Newfoundland.)

She showed me a picture of Steve boogie-boarding in Hawaii. She asked me, "Where's that?" because she truly did not know. I told her that her dad was at a beach in Maui, Hawaii. She did mention Hawaii Standard Time, but then asked for the city. I told her, "I don't know!"

She asked where this picture of Steve and I near a flooded swing-set. I asked, "Where do you think?" She said, "Sand Point." I said, "No." Then, she realized it was another island with tundra, "Adak, where you were born!" Again, she did not know the location of this shot.

She looked at this baby picture of herself and said, "Eating food." I said, "Yeah, you made a mess!" (Wasn't she a cutie?????? I can tell this was taken in December because four red advent candles are in the forefront!)

Then, she looked at this picture of Steve's parents' house in Louisiana. I know she remembers the house, but there was snow on the ground. She asked, "Where's the house?" I said, "In Louisiana. In 1989 Grandma and Grandpa had a crazy snowstorm." She smiled and said, "Uh-oh!" I laughed and said, "Yeah, God sent a big surprise."

Pamela saw this picture of her aunt and herself near a pool. Pamela said, "That's Florida." I said, "Yes, that was Aunt Essie's house. She’s in heaven." (I took this picture when Pamela was fifteen months old. When we got home, we took her to that fateful vaccination (MMR and DPT on the same day). What a mistake! She was already having health problems with never ending diaper rashes and ear infections. Her illnesses and autism ramped up after this!)

She showed me this picture from Disneyland and said, "Rocket!" I replied, "That's when we took you to Disneyland!" (We visited my sister in San Diego and hit Disneyland on the way back. We had just started the process of getting Pamela evaluated. We did our best to fake enjoying the trip for Pamela's sake. How could she notice our heartbreak?)


She showed this picture from Germany, "It's a church!" I replied, "That's when we saw Oma and Opa in Germany." (Pamela was four on this trip. She was afraid of Mom's canary and hid behind the couch a lot. She did well on the trip except the jetway terrified her and the people smoking after dinner triggered an allergic reaction in her. David was a baby, and his great Oma just loved him because he would play with the ball of yarn sitting in the basket!)


Then, she held this picture of David and her in the plastic pool. She pointed, "David's in the pool." I said, "Oh, yes, you were playing." Then she said, "Ariel." I said, "David was so cute." She pointed to his shirt and said, "Baloo!" (Pamela attended special education classes in the local public school. Steve and I were on active duty in the Navy.)

She saw this picture of her on a slide and said, "Florida!" I said, "Yes, that's when we moved to Connecticut!" (We visited my sister in Florida on our way to Connecticut. Both kids enjoyed playing with their cousins, who are about the same age as my kids.)

She looked at a picture of her and David on farm and asked, "Where's that?" I replied, "Allentown, near Philadelphia." Then she said, "Five more states" because she realized it was during our move to Connecticut in 1995 after Steve and I left the Navy and began homeschooling.

Then, she saw a picture of David at a playground. She said, "David's sliding!" I said, "That looks like fun!" She said, "Just like gravity!" (Pennsylvania had several wonderful playgrounds, and we had a pool, swingset, and climbing trees--a kid's paradise. They spent many happy hours playing in our backyard.)

She commented on this shot of the kids doing a homeschool Christmas program. Pamela said, "David's signing 'Silent Night!'" I said, "He did such a great job!" (We attended a fantastic co-op in Pennsylvania. The kids loved going to classes and all of the field trips and other activities. It was a blast!)

She showed me this mystery road and asked, "Where's the road?" I told her I didn't know but said the date was August 2001. Then, she told me, "That’s Alaska!"

I felt like this conversation was much closer to the joint attention we are seeking because many of her comments were declarative. When she did ask, she truly did not know or was confused. When I did answer with the name of the state, Pamela did not fall into her typical patterns (state, time zone, Chinese astrological year). She did not ask me to tell her what she already knew in a static conversation. She made different comments based upon the pictures themselves.

Happy with Your Work?

Interestingly, many older Americans are happy with their work. Is that the case for you? A recent University of Chicago study shows that though some people may gripe, many workers love their jobs. And, believe it or not, satisfaction increases with age.

The survey found that job satisfaction increases with age, with workers over 65 among the most satisfied. The study shows that 86 percent of the people interviewed between 1972 and 2006 said they were satisfied at their jobs. "Job satisfaction is especially high among those 65 and over because most people working at that age are not those forced to still work due to financial reasons, but those who choose to do so because they like their jobs," Tom W. Smith, Director of the General Social Survey at the National Opinion Center at the University of Chicago, said.

"The most important the factors contributing to more job satisfaction," Smith discovered, "in descending order of importance are holding a job with high prestige, being older, being non-black and earning more from a job."

So if you enter a dream career, why does the honeymoon seem to end? Perhaps its a hellish commute, work that's predictable rather than creative, incompetent bosses, or office politics that tarnishes what you once thought perfect. If that's the case what can you do to turn that around?

Your attitude helps to shape your outcomes. If you go to work thinking it will be dull and monotonous, these turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. Judith Sills, a Philadelphia based clinical psychologist recommends the following strategies, in the Dec issue of Psychology Today to renew the first love you had for your work...

Sills recommends keeping a daily list of five things that were positive at work each day. She terms it "attitude gratitude." Check these out for your list...

Review the sweet spots of your day Notice the moments in your day when you sense you're at your best. Keep bringing flashbacks of these moments to mind.

Cherish social support You and colleagues work together to accomplish goals. Your encouragement and support of others helps you as much or more as it does them.

Appreciate mentoring Many bosses keep giving you tips and strategies to help you grow. Good mentoring is not always easily received, but it is a great boon to your growth. Rejoice your boss cares.

Perks count Think about the bonus, the company dinner, the football tickets or even your vacation time and count these as a plus.

Consider your salary "Certainly a sense of self, a contribution to society, intellectual challenge, and deep visceral thrills make excellent reasons to love your job," Sills says. ""But on the off chance that your day-to-day employment falls short... remember that money is the primary reason adults are at the workplace."

If people make that "attitude adjustment," it's a great way to reboot your brain at work... as Ellen Weber advocates.

What spurs you on to renew the romance of your first love for your work?