10 Triggers to More Brainpower

Worthwhile resolutions flow from one year to the next... We keep working on them - especially when it comes to building more brainpower. Lifestyle's key to optimal brain performance. Want to trigger yours?

1. Exercise that pushes blood flow - I like brisk walks and hikes for an hour's duration. In winter I cross country ski and in summer I golf on a course where I walk. What do enjoy for exercise? Exercise increases brainpower.

2. A Mediterranean oriented eating plan - The Mediterranean food plan is made up of more fruits and vegetables, more fish, and more healthy fats than the general American way of eating. I strive for five as Wegman's encourages five generous helpings of fresh fruits and veggies per day! You?

3. New adventures To grow brainpower, enjoy new intellectual adventures rather than sticking to the old. For instance, learn new games and play with others. You might enjoy a new game by Set Enterprises, for instance. Or, take a class, earn a degree, launch a new blog, use new technical tools. As Ellen Weber investigated, try taking a risk that'll benefit you.

Interestingly, searching the Internet increases brain function. A striking finding in a recent research study shows that "Internet searching appears to engage a greater extent of neural circuitry that is not activated during reading — but only in those with prior Internet experience," says Gary Small, director of UCLA's Memory and Aging Research Center.

What would you suggest for a new mental adventure?

4. Personally participate in the arts - Learning, Arts, and the Brain advances our understanding of the effects of music, dance, Currently researchers explore the question: Are smart people drawn to the arts or does arts training make people smarter? Learning, Arts, and the Brain advances our understanding of the effects of music, and drama education on other types of learning. People interested in the arts develop more attention skills. I work on increasing skills in video and photography, you?

5. Spice your foods Spices have more antioxidant power, measure for measure, than fruits and vegetables. Antioxidants help prevent cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, heart disease, and premature aging.

Beneficial spices include: Cinnamon, Ginger, Oregano, Rosemary, Turmeric, Garlic, Sage, Red Chili Peppers, Coriander, Parsley.

6. Play Brain Age video games - stretch your brain Nintendo released "Brain Age" in 2006. NPR's Robert Holt says that playing it makes him feel smarter -- but he's not sure if it actually makes him smarter. Exercising your brain definitely helps. Some research on Brain training games shows a real boost. What have you discovered about these games that you'd pass on?

7. Drink plenty of water daily Must admit I truly push to follow through on this one. Water enhances both body and brain. According to Eric Jensen the brain is 78 percent water. Hydration's needed for attention, critical thinking, learning and memory!

8. Avoid distractions to remain focused Many environments full of distractions divert your attention, and if you allow your brain to keep wandering off, you lose focus. Not too surprisingly, you establish a pattern that's dangerous later in life.

9. Set long and short term targets Goals provide focus. With no guiding vision or plan, people tend to drift. Goals provide a measuring stick for progress. Goals enhance productivity. They bolster self-esteem. And most of all, goals increase commitment, so you're more likely to achieve whatever you set out to conquer. For best results, Hara Estroff Marano of Psychology Today suggests...

* Write your targets.

The act of writing down what you plan to do is a strong motivator. Writing down goals prevents you from leaving goals vague. Use action verbs. Create targets with measurable outcomes. Specify completion dates.

* List obstacles.

Think of everything that might stand in your way. Then create solutions you can use today!

* List benefits of achieving your goal.

Knowing exactly what you will gain from reaching your goal is a strong motivator.

* Identify sub goals.

Break down complicated plans into manageable chunks. Decide what you plan to do, and when. Make sure each step is challenging but achievable, and that you have a complete design for action. Then write it on your calendar and review regularly.

* Learn what you need to know.

If information or skill is keeping you from achieving your targets, determine ways to fill in gaps, and build this into your action plan. Be willing to study and work hard to reach your goals. Ask yourself whether you are really willing and able to do what is necessary.

* Enlist help from others.

Find someone, a coworker or friend, with whom you share a common goal. Get someone to go to the gym with you, or to quit smoking with you, or to share healthy meals with you. A partner can help you stay committed and motivated. Look for role models, people who have already achieved the goals you seek to reach. Ask him or her for advice and suggestions. Find how that supervisor reached this current position, and incorporate what you learn into your plan.

* Visualize yourself achieving each target.

Make your visualization real. Find a quiet place, picture, write down your experiences afterward. Go through magazines and cut out images that represent your goal, then put them around the house. Provide constant reminders to yourself about what you're working toward. Describe your ideal life in the future. Write a few paragraphs describing what you've accomplished, and how your life improved as a result. Use present tense as if it is happening right here, right now. This makes vision real.

* Get organized.

Prepared and organized, you will feel better about your ability to reach your targets. Having information scattered in too many places makes you feel out of control and undermines motivation. Set up a filing system, set aside your workout clothes.

* Reward yourself each step of the way.

Treat yourself to rewards that give you a hefty lift as you accomplish milestones on your road to success.

10. Keep Belly Fat Under Control Belly fat can creep up on you and it's dangerous to your brain. People who have belly fat in their 40's are more likely to experience dementia in their 70's. That enough to get you moving in the right direction... it is for me! That's why my plan to live a lifestyle outlined above will keep me on a great path in 2009 and every year thereafter.

Sure took lots of motivation over the holidays to stick to these Triggers for More Brainpower, but I didn't wander from the path. Hope to keep this going throughout the New Year and beyond. Want to join me?

Aut-Isms

I am sure many parents of autism spectrum children enjoy the unusual ways our children express themselves. I thought it might be fun to share some of Pamela's aut-isms and feel free to include the favorites of your child in the coments.

• moccashoe for moccasin
• towel robe for bathrobe
• white cream for mayonnaise
• binoculators which rhymes with elevator and escalator

Her newest word is thriller hole, the hole in the porch created by a knothole that fell out. She called it that because she finds it scary wondering what is in it.


And what lurks beneath our thriller hole? Take a peek . .

Tips to write a "resume" (CV - Curriculum Vitae)

If you are applying for a job of any domain you must remember that you are trying to sell yourself (your services) to the employers.Here are same TIPS that you must remember:• The immediate objective of your "resume" (CV) is to get a chance for an interview.• Highlight your qualities briefly.• Give your complete particulars as desired by the prospective employer in a simple and straight forward

Avocado: The "Buttery Pear" of Eternal Life

Have you ever gasped in awe at the beauty, flavor and aroma of the avocado? It resembles a dark pear with tough skin. Pull the skin back to reveal a soft, green glowing fruit that promises the sun, moon, and stars in the palm of your hand. It has seen a growing trend amongst shoppers in America in the last ten years. Vegans, vegetarians, and raw dieters praise the avocado for its protein, fat and whole nutrient content, but what about it is so special about it? First of all, if you haven’t partaken of this holy food of the Peruvian “Testical Tree” (because you live under a rock), go and buy one immediately. When choosing avocados, check for firmness as they ripen off the vine. If you want to eat one immediately, they should be moderately soft but not mushy. I recommend cutting it in half, a little salt and pepper mix it together in the skin and eat with a fork. I can only describe the taste as “nature’s ice cream”. In fact, the shape and fat content of the avocado can be likened to that of an egg, and can be used in ways that the egg would be used: ice cream, sauces, flavor, fat.



An avocado is actually a green fruit, and not only is it a fruit, it is an oily berry. The oil of the fruit is mostly monounsaturated fat and easy to digest and burns slowly. The fat content allows the individual to absorb five to ten times the amount of carotenoids out of a salad than without. Carotenoids are fat soluble nutrients such as beta carotene and lycopene. Without the presence of fat, we absorb these nutrients in a much less efficient manner. The fat is also known to lower bad cholesterol, clearing the arteries of the heart and lowering the chance for disease. (http://www.healthymuslim.com/articles/kdgzz-adding-avocados-to-salads-aids-absorption-of-nutrients.cfm)

Most nutritionists state that Americans do not get enough green foods in their diet. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, heart disease is the number one leading cause of death in America for men and women. The link between green foods and a decrease in heart disease has been established by many medical researchers. "The mechanisms through which vegetables and fruits protect against heart disease are likely multiple," says Dr. Kaumudi J. Joshipura of Harvard University (http://www.bio-medicine.org/medicine-news/Eat-greens-to-have-a-ever-green-heart-235-1/). Green foods are high potassium, vitamin K, folate, fiber and other nutrients that are known to have a direct effect on heart disease and multiple types of cancer.

The research of others, and my own observations, have brought me to the conclusion that foods are much more than fiber and vitamins. I believe their shape, color, and feeling tell much more about their symbiotic relationship with humans. For my final project in college I was to build a website that demonstrated everything that we had learned in our web design class. My web page was going to be dedicated to foods and learning how they relate to and support various energy flows in the chakras.

The information that I gathered would be based completely on speculation, without much evidence. I found that this task was much larger than I had anticipated since there was so much to understand about the vibrational nature of the fruits and vegetables on our planet. I was pleased to find some discoveries over at Ezra Sandzer-Bell’s blog, HOWMusick (www.quantumlodge.org/ezra), which again sparked my interest in the pseudo-subject. Here is an example of one of Ezra’s Illustrations:

This is an excellent example of practical synchromysticism at work. Nature is speaking to us from every corner of our perception. My theory is that the colors of foods speak for which chakra they support. We know that the heart chakra is green, and we need green foods as a major part of maintaining a healthy heart. What other foods with specific color have an effect on the chakras?

Goji Berries are raging onto the health food scene. They originate in the Himalayas and art known to contain some of the highest amounts of anti-oxidants known to any fruit, surpassing blue berries, pomegranate, oranges, etc.

Upon first observation, the berry appears a deep red. This would tell us that it supports the base chakra and everything that energy is used for. The red chakra grounds or roots us in this reality, so that we may maintain stability. The goji berry contains 19 amino acids including the 8 essential proteins needed for life. It is packed with trace minerals and vitamins and a good candidate to cover all the needs of the physical self in this reality. Anyone who has ever soaked goji berries in water will notice that they start to bleed orange. I would guess this is because they are a greater source for beta carotene than carrots. If you have ever enjoyed a glass of raw, unfiltered goji juice, you might have noticed the similar taste to a strong carrot juice. What does this say for the sacral chakra? Many venders rave goji as the new Viagra. While these claims are unproven, my personal experience is that they improve overall sexual function and libido. I already have a somewhat high libido, so I’m not the best test subject but other testimonies have divulged the same sort of information. It could be that the highly complex polysaccharides offer an overall energy boost that works its way up the entire chakra system, lending most of the energy to the lowest chakras.

Applying these same principles to the avocado, I believe that the Universal consciousness has introduced this fruit at this time to resonate the energy of humanity closer to the vibration of unconditional love. Dr. Len Horawitz has claimed that the exact center of our visible spectrum is the vibration of a love song that the creator sings to emanate creation. The center of our color spectrum is green, resonating around 528 terahertz. When we see the earth from above, the first thing that we notice is the color green because this is the color of life.

Dr. Horawitz has stated that listening the frequency of 528 hz will have a major impact on the overall vibration of being. As we begin to “attune” ourselves to this frequency, our hearts will send out that signal to be picked up by other individuals that we come into contact with, communicating unconditional love.

This is the true “green movement”. A movement towards unconditional love disguised as an ass backwards attempt at cleaning up pollution and having a handful of respect for the living being that is our planet. So eat avocados in your salad if you want to save the planet.

Invitation for Christmas Tea

Nothing would be so warming as to enjoy a Christmas tea with friends! Just think, tea can benefit your brain as can great intellectual or even relaxing conversations after a taxing day at the office! You'd see some sliced apples, thin bits of cheese and plump grapes as other goodies to enjoy. Let our tea begin...

Good Enough for Granny GF/CF Banana Pudding

My friend (both cyber and skin) Jamberry talked about making a GF/CF banana pudding by substituting GF/CF animal crackers for the wafers. As we were invited to a neighborhood Christmas party and one of the neighbors is gluten-free too, I decided to give it a shot! I went through all my cookbooks (it took about five minutes LOL) and found a recipe suitable for altering (i.e., it did not include instant pudding as an ingredient).

Ingredients:
6 egg yolks
2 cans coconut milk
2 tablespoons corn starch
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons buttery sticks
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 small bananas
1 9-ounce box gluten-free vanilla animal cookies
6 egg whites
4 tablespoons sugar

Directions:
Mix first four ingredients with a whisk until smooth. Cook in a double boiler, stirring constantly, until it thickens. Remove from heat; add butter and vanilla extract and stir some more until the buttery sticks melt. Layer a 9x13x2 dish with animal cookies and sliced bananas. Pour the hot pudding over the layers. Beat the egg whites and remaining sugar until it forms peaks. Put on top of the banana pudding and brown under the broiler. Chill for several hours.

BEFORE the Party:


AFTER the Party:


Pamela loved it! My gluten-free neighbor loved it! Obviously, the partygoers that were not counting calories loved it. I think it passed the Granny test!

The Tarot: In History and Theory

Tarot lore is a tangled web of rumors, facts, and associations. Over time, the meanings were lost or diluted and we are now in an age of revealing where this knowledge can be freely distributed without judgment. With all the work being done on Tarot in the synchro-sphere, many new and exciting insights are coming to the forefront; but until a foundation has been laid, we cannot build a knowledge system that can stand on its own. It is like trying to hold a conversation on politics with an individual who refuses to acknowledge any possibility of conspiracy…What’s the point?! In this blog, I will be exploring the cloudy history of the Tarot playing deck and the fundamental symbolism as a foundation of understanding.

Let’s consider the purpose of the Tarot from a spiritual perspective. Tarot is a system that opens a medium of communication between the outer reality and the inner oracle (consciousness). We use the outer Tarot to understand the inner Tarot. All of these symbols are a part of who you are and those who have come before. Many people go to Tarot readers to gain insight on the future. Reading the future is a beneficial component of the Tarot, but is not the primary function. We are reading consciousness. Being that consciousness is everything that exist, has ever existed and will ever exist, you also have access to probable future outcomes. I use the word probable because we know that the quantum reality exist as a wave of probable potentials. Nothing truly exists in a concrete state, but in a wave of potential locations. I believe the Tarot helps us ‘flesh out’ the probable futures. The future never exists as a certainty because there are many potentials. We have the ability to choose the outcome and connect a future of our intent to the present. The true purpose of the Tarot is to build a language between the individual ego and the unconscious that is connected to the all-encompassing Universe.

Suppose that consciousness is a massive, infinite super computer main-frame, your brain is your own PC, and you are the user. The user may need direct access to consciousness/mainframe, but with nothing more than the brain/PC, the user will have a hard time gaining access to the information needed to complete the task. The user may be pulling and pushing information in the mainframe without the knowledge of what is taking place behind the veil. Unless the PC has a program or interface that can communicate with the mainframe, you will not be able to directly view what is taking place. The Tarot is the interface that allows you to appropriately access the mainframe consciousness.

We know that the Tarot had sprung onto the scene in the 1400s as a card game, exposed to the western world by gypsies roaming out of Persia. Alternative historians argue that the four elements or ‘suits’ of the Tarot can be found in Irish and Egyptian culture. We can also see the four fold representation of deity in theology, represented by the Tetragrammaton or the four lettered name. It seems that playing decks were fashionable among the rich in the Middle Ages since the cards had to hand painted and were not widely distributed until the invention of the printing press. The original decks were composed of the four suits and ten numbers. The number of court characters jumped around, starting with just one king. Eventually, the trumps were an addition made to the game with more court characters. It was recorded that Tarot was not used for divinatory purposes until the 1800s. (Wikipedia)

If you search for Tarot videos on YouTube, you will find many videos persecuting Tarot diviners and Tarot sites alike. There is a particular series of videos portraying Ronald McDonald in fast forward, singing and dancing in repetitive movements. The creator of these videos claims that he is on a campaign to rid the world of the Tarot and especially Tarot.com for illegitimate claims to historical cultures. He claims that the Tarot is nothing more than a game, made for the entertainment of French Aristocrats in the middle ages. Silly as it may seem, I believe that this sort of persecution is marking the breach of a new awareness. If you have never really been interested in the Tarot and happen to come across these videos, you may agree with the message and seek to further the knowledge of the agenda. But once you come into contact with the symbolism portrayed by the Tarot, you are unconsciously exploring a sacred art form. I have had friends comment to me that they have had ‘strange’ feelings on viewing some of the cards in the Tarot deck. I believe that the symbolism of the Tarot accesses information that we carry in our soul, embedded in our DNA.

You cannot come into contact with the Tarot without it affecting you, even if you have a questionable intent. In Crowley’s summarization of the questions discussed in the Book of Thoth, he explicitly states, “The origin of the Tarot is quite irrelevant, even if it were certain. It must stand or fall as a system on its own merit.” So it doesn’t matter if some hoe-boe was scribbling on some piece of paper and decided to call it Tarot. Does it work or not? I would have to say it works better than we are able to conceive. Crowley goes on to make an analogy to chess. Chess did not start out as the game it is today, in all its glory. It was built as a system of symbols and improved upon until we arrived at an efficient tool for teaching projective logic that we have today.

The Three in One (1:3)

The Golden Dawn’s logo can be found on the back of the Golden Dawn Magickal Tarot and I think this gives an accurate analysis of the Tarot. I see this symbolism as several things: the trinity or the three becoming one (1:3); the resurrection of Christ Consciousness out of the Eye of Knowledge; and the relationship of the 3:4 ratio, which can be seen all throughout the Tarot. The whole pyramid and cross as one symbol can be further broken down into two symbols to understand the relationship. The pyramid with the sun can be compared to the pyramid and the eye on the back of the dollar bill. This symbol has been linked to many cults throughout time but the general interpretation is the Eye of Knowledge. This ‘third’ eye senses beyond the five sensory inputs and the veil of reality. The development of this wisdom is a process of spiritual refinement also known as the alchemical transfiguration. The pyramid is topped by the Rosy Cross, the symbol of the Rosicrusion society. This symbol can be broken down further into 3 symbols. This cross represents the distinction of the four elements, and the rose represents the twenty letters of the Hebrew alphabet, and the sun behind the cross represents the sun in the zodiac. (There is much more to this symbol, obviously. Feel free to search on.)

The concept of three gods in one (1:3) is known in every culture all over the world, in every time and place.

The three in one always is used to inspire patriotism, resonating with an unseen reality that is part of our experience. The reality is that we are all three in one: mind, body and spirit. I remember being very young in church contemplating the holy trinity. It didn’t make sense, but oh well, that’s the way in goes in organized religion. We were taught there was a Father God, a son, and a holy spirit. Is not God the Father and the Son both spirits in the first place? No matter. You don’t have to have an intellectual reasoning to be part of a mass movement.

Deck 1: The Trumps

From a Cabbalist standpoint, the pack is viewed as three separate packs in one. The three in one consist of the 22 Trump Cards, the 40 suit cards, and the 16 court royal cards. The trump cards are numbered by their association to the Hebrew alphabet.

The rose of the Rosy Cross is a representation of the alphabet divided into a 1:3 ratio of 3:7:12. It could be coincidence that the alphabet fits together so well, but it works and has stood on its own for thousands of years. The three represents the three primary elements of fire, water and air. The forth element is implicit as earth is a combination of all three; hence, the three in one. The next seven letters represent the seven planets and the next twelve represent the signs of the zodiac. Understanding the letter, element, planetary, and/or astrological association helps in deciphering the cards meaning.

For instance:

is associated with Tet:

The imagery of the card gives away the astrological association of Leo. We know that Leo is ruled by the Sun and the card is further defined by the Hebrew letter Tet. Leo the lion is courageous, strong willed, and adventurous. The shape of the letter Tet tells us that the Leo receives the power from within and that we all posses this potential for there is a part of us that is Leo, no matter what your Sun sign is.

The Tetragrammaton

Any further understanding of the Tarot deck requires a basic familiarity with the Tetragrammaton: the four lettered name of God. Whether this is the name of the true creator or completely contrived, I do not know. I do know that the Tetragrammaton summarizes our nature and the way we experience this plane of reality. Each of the letters represents an element, and each element holds a Tree of Life. You might be thinking, “Wait a minute….two of the letters are the same”. The Cabalistic understanding of this phenomenon is that the father and the mother in cosmic union to produce twins, He and He.

The Tetragrammaton has been held so sacred that it was actually taken out of holy texts so that the people would not attempt to pronounce the name in vain. Scientist Gregg Braden connected the holy name to our DNA by matching the numerical values of the Divine Name to the periodical numbers of the elements that make up our DNA. I also see the four elements as an integral part of the way we experience reality and a formula for the participation in the co-creation of reality. Fire = mind, water=emotion, air=action, earth=manifestation.

Gregg Braden’s book, The Lost Mode of Prayer, outlines this fundamental method of creation as the true mode of prayer. The prayer starts with a thought, we fuel that thought with our emotions to feel our prayers instead of just acknowledging our wants and needs. The thought of the prayer should be as close as possible to the desired outcome, such as: I have a great job, not I want a great job. By adding the emotion of gratitude to this prayer, we can be thankful for our great new job as the prayer. This is fully supported by Biblical teaching but has escaped core doctrine. As we drop our prayer into the cosmic ocean of being called our unconscious, the Universe will bring about situations that we must act on in order to manifest the original thought. We can pray and pray, but if we don’t act, we can’t expect the Universe to fulfill our needs.

Deck 2: The Minor Arcana

The key to understanding the meanings of the minor cards is to learn how to interpret the combination of symbols. The formula for symbol combination goes like this: Meaning = element + sphere no. + astrological symbols. Each suit represents an element and The Tree of Life in that element. According to Cabalistic doctrine, there are four worlds, each containing a Tree of Life. That gives us four Trees and forty spheres in total.

The Spheres

Understanding the spheres (or paths) of the Tree of Life is a never ending process and you could spend a lifetime collecting the wisdom of each of the paths. The paths also have simplified meanings and associations that allow us to capture a glimpse of the wisdom contained in a relatively small space. Each sphere can be summarized by a planet and each path inbetween spheres can be summarized by a trump or letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

The Decantes

The decantes are an important element to the formula of the minor arcane cards. The word decante refers to the division by ten. There are twelve signs of the zodiac and each of those signs contains thirty degrees. If we split one sign into three parts, we have divided the sign by ten degrees and this gives us three decante signs per one zodiac sign 12:36 = 1:3.

12:36 Message from Beyond 1997 (Crystal Links)

Each of the minor arcana cards represents a decante, excluding the ace cards which represent the pure emanation of that element. The decantes are determined by the element and the modality of the card.

I highly recommend the Crowley Thoth deck or The Golden Dawn’s Magickal Tarot. These decks contain all of the astrological components of the card and make reading easier than memorizing each of the decante correspondences. It’s great to have the Rider-Waite deck and study the ideas that they were trying to portray while studying the formula for deciphering their meanings. In Crowley’s six of swords we can see the astrological association of Mercury in Aquarius in sphere of Tiparath in the element of air. So we have AIR + TIPARATH + MERCURY + AQUARIUS = SCIENCE. The way that the symbols work together is not always logical but it is a system. When you get the general understanding of the symbol combinations, readings will become much easier.

Deck Three: The Court Royals

The court royals represent sixteen individual personalities. Each of these personalities is within you, and you may call on them at different times for different purposes. When they come up in a reading, they could represent individuals in your life or different personalities that you are suggested to portray in whatever situations that are represented. What the royals really represent is each of the elements such as: knight=fire, queen=water, prince=air, and princess=earth. So when we are interpreting the cards, we can combine elements to deduct the fundamental understanding.

Example: The queen of swords represents WATER in AIR.

This concludes my analysis of Tarot fundamentals. There is much more information, and the study of Tarot is a never ending process because of its holographic nature. This is merely an attempt by myself to lay out a knowledge infrastructure of the Tarot symbolism. The study of Tarot is very rewarding, as it is a teaching tool as well as a divination tool. Memorize the Tree of Life. Memorize the elements and modalities of the zodiac. All of the symbolism builds off of these schools. Good luck and have fun.

The Great Pamdini!

We had a lovely moment of experience sharing today. David and I were at the kitchen table, slaving away at school work. Pamela was sitting on the floor near a vent through which some deliciously warm air was blowing. She announced excitedly, "Magic! I'm doing a magic trick."

Our heads were so deeply buried in the books, we gave her one of those lackluster "uh-huh" responses. But, that was not good enough to please the great Pamdini, she repeated more loudly, "Look!!! It's magic." After I saw her clever trick, I grabbed the camera to film it for posterity. What I loved most about this interaction was that Pamela wanted to share her discovery of magic with us. She was not satisfied until we shared the experience with her.

Christmas Blues? 10 Tips for New Melodies

"I'll have a blue Christmas without you.
I'll be so blue thinking about you.
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same, if you're not here with me.

And when those blue snowflakes start fallin'
And when those blue melodies start callin'
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white,
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas."

Maybe Elvis, Celine or other artists revive lyrics and blues that press a replay button in your mind.... You now focus on events which change the scope of Christmas 2008 at your home. Stop right there!... Consider your focus. The human brain picks up on focus and soon surges with memories or prophetic fantasies you create.

The more you or I listen to Elvis's blues... we're upping the ante to build a blue Christmas. The more we set our sights on negatives, the more the chemical cortisol seeps in and blues take on darker shades. Not too surprisingly, cortisol, a chemical hormone in your brain, pushes against relationships, courage, solutions, and general well being. Want to play a new melody? You can reset your tunes and your celebration.

10 Tips for New Melodies

1. Attend Christmas Eve service This brings your entire focus to the true meaning of Christmas and bolsters your intrapersonal intelligence, too. Chat with others afterward and make new friends.

2. Invite neighbor(s), friend(s) or single parent with kids to spend Christmas with you It's not too late and can bring an unforgettable day for all. Bringing folks into your home and preparing the meal helps overcome loneliness. In the spirit of Christmas, you give yourself to others. No better way to rev up your interpersonal intelligence.

3. Volunteer at food kitchen Attendance spikes at Christmas so you can assist in a variety of tasks. Volunteering is giving a gift of yourself in a fresh new way.

4. Sing with carolers You'll be singing whole new tunes and having fun with others. Replay these tunes in your head as you try new approaches to the season.

5. Adopt a pet Give yourself a trusty, but different friend. Get acquainted on Christmas day!

6. Buy inspirational book to read Reading creates new images to mind and alters focus.

7. Hike, Snow Shoe or Ski Exercise that takes you outside quickly increases blood flow to the brain and connects you to nature in ways that freshen your spirit. At the same time, you fight against seasonal affective disorder caused by low levels of melatonin.

8. Write encouraging letters Reconnect to friends and family with positive encouragement. A personal, handwritten letter sends a treasure. Only you can create this unique gift and it gives back to you as well... many times with surprising results.

9. Volunteer at homeless shelter or hospital Give folks that that hurt right now can your gift of help or inspiring conversation.

10. Choose foods wisely Comfort foods may bring small comfort momentarily, but can eventually erode health. Avoid snack foods, carbs and soft drinks with sugars. "Just say no" to alcohol. Eat small portions which include items from a Mediterranean diet or other wise food choices. Drink plenty of water, too.

Choose what works best for you to bring new focus to potential Christmas blues. Even without the blues, you might find new purpose as you play a new melody for Christmas this year. As we give to others, we bring more serotonin to our lives. Serotonin's a brain chemical that enhances well-being as we reset our iPods with new tunes.

Thanks Joanna Young for bringing an unexpected Christmas greeting this year - a true Joyful, Joyful! Joanna donated money to the Marie Curie Cancer Care Charity which provides free nursing care to cancer patients and others with terminal illnesses and sent to my mailbox. Truly an inspiring melody!

Are you resetting your playlist this year?

Speak with Santa Claus!

Do you want speak with Santa Claus (Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick or ,Kris Kringle)?Link:http://xmas.glueserv.com/

Handling Bad News

Before I get into my post, I wanted to share a really thoughtful post about why one mother chose to homeschool her child with autism. I have been connecting to homeschoolers in cyberspace for 14 years. I have heard many, many horror stories such as children being tied to chairs, put in seclusion rooms (but not this heartbreaking), and having their mouths shut with duct tape. Diet violations. Dehumanizing treatment. Bullying. Physical abuse. Sadly even sexual abuse.

But, not everyone leaves the school system for bad reasons. We left because we thought we had a better idea of what Pamela needed. I did not think her teachers did anything bad, but rather they could not do what I thought to be absolutely best for her. Penny wrote a very eloquent post that I could not have written in my early days of homeschooling, and I heartily agree with what she expressed.

I can see signs of our work on uncertainty spilling out into other areas of life. Earlier in the week, Pamela and I spent the day wondering what was in some packages that arrived. She did not bother much at all about opening them right away, which is a good thing. One little thing I love about this clip is how well Pamela is picking up on subtle nonverbal communication. When I was talking, she started watching television through her "binoculators". Rather than verbally prompt her like an ABA automaton, I moved in closer to get between her and the television. She got the message and responded beautifully!


Today, I had to share some bad news for Pamela. I know this sounds mind boggling, but last Friday, Steve came home from a five-day business trip to Santiago, Chile. And, on Monday, he turned around and flew back for another five-day trip. That is 20,000 miles in two weeks! Steve told me this morning that he would not be coming home until Saturday, so I had the "fun" job of breaking the news to Pamela.

One of the major focuses of RDI is social referencing. Our work on uncertainty is a form of social referencing because Pamela is learning by watching my face, tone, and demeanor, that not knowing is okay. "We'll live" when things are uncertain. Rather than melting down, she can pay attention to my reaction and, if I am calm and neutral, then there may not be any reason for her to flip out. Page 12 of Solving the Relationship Puzzle says,

By the end of the fourth month, the typical infant has learned that the soothing voice tones and facial expressions of familiar adults can serve as a reference point, bringing instant emotional relief, even when not being held or physically comforted. Faced with confusing or ambiguous situations, it becomes second nature for babies to respond to their increased anxiety by gazing at a parent's face. If their facial expressions are calm and positive, this produces a rapid reduction in the child's distress, Alternatively if the parent's facial expression appears anxious or it is blocked from view, the child's distress will rapidly escalate. This process, called Social Referencing, plays a crucial role in the further development of Experience Sharing. Through Social Referencing, the infant gains security and confidence in interacting with his world. Once it has been learned, parents can begin more actively introducing novelty and variety into the child's life. They know that, even as they make the inevitable errors in providing too much or too powerful stimulation, the infant will be able to easily recover, through gazing at Mom or Dad and using their calm and happy emotional reassurance as a reference point for his own emotional state.

In the following clip, you can see Pamela's mild meltdown. Mild because I have seen her cry for five or ten minutes over unexpected changes in Steve's schedule. About forty seconds into the clip, Pamela begins to reference my calm and neutral reaction and you can see the "instant emotional relief" she felt by paying attention to me.


Tomorrow, we will have even more practice because the hot water heater stopped working today (and thankfully, my dad, Handyman Howard, lives across the street) and I have two toilets acting up. But, first, I need to practice my own calm and reassuring demeanor (instead of primal scream in a fetal position). I guess that is what happens when you choose to live in a house that is older than Steve and my age combined! (I'll let you do the math . . .)

We'll Live!

Autism Remediation for Our Children is an email list for people interested in remediating autism from the perspective of Relationship Development Intervention (RDI), who might not be able to afford a certified consultant, who are building up confidence to pay for one, who have had one and feel they can fly solo, who are consultants, or who have one and wish to share what they have learned. In short, a mixed bag!

From time to time, someone posts great links to articles or the work of other professionals that dovetail nicely with guided participation (which is the model RDI uses). A recent post spotlighted the ideas of Dr. James McDonald, founder of Communicating Partners, who focuses on relationship over mechanics in his blog.

One post answers the chicken or the egg question, "Which comes first cognitive learning or social learning?" If you really think hard about it, the answer is obvious. Because most autistic children are static thinkers and spot patterns quickly, early cognitive learning such as colors and numbers are easy for them to master. So easy that we ought not to spend any time on them at all! Pamela taught herself to sight read by figuring out how to much videocassette tapes (even pictureless ones) to their boxes! Since static learning comes so easily to them, I believe it is counterproductive to develop that part of the brain even more. Imagine a tree in which some branches are completely lush, full, and heavily laden with fruit while other branches are nothing but sticks. Pamela's branches for patterns, numbers, and static bits of knowledge is the former, but her ability to relate to people is like the latter.

Like RDI, Communicating Partners works on social learning first. Dr. MacDonald writes,

In fact it is now evident that a child will learn more of what he needs to be included in the social world from frequent daily interactions spontaneously than he will from intensive drilling on facts and skills for school. Making a child a successful student does not make him less autistic in real life and less isolated from society. Early and intensive social relationships are needed for that.

I especially love his point that "Treatment is no longer limited to trained and paid persons, but is available to anyone interacting daily with the child." I have watched situations unfold between Pamela and cashiers, kindred spirits who instinctively know how to slow down for Pamela, my random dad and son who both create lots of uncertainty, my patient German mother who knows how hard it is to learn a second language, Steve's doting parents who think Pamela is smashing and love to see what she will do next, her loving aunts who think nothing wrong about Pamela toting around her babies (Baby Alive and Baby David), etc. Often, she applies the discoveries she learns from me in situations with other people. They unwittingly work on our objectives without even knowing that what they are doing is vital!

I used to be very skeptical about what social milestones Pamela might be able to develop since she is nearly twenty years old. Based on what I have seen her learn in the past two years, I completely agree with Dr. MacDonald's assertion that, "contrary to the belief and practice of many, most children diagnosed on the autism spectrum can become much more social and genuinely communicative than they are." As you know we have been working very hard on helping Pamela to feel okay about uncertain situations. The following clip demonstrates two very exciting discoveries Pamela is making (1) we can feel comfortable about not knowing exactly when Steve (her dad) will return from a long trip and (2) we do not have to be upset about broken things (Opa's truck and the radio).


Last week, the radio station really did go out the day we had a tornado watch and Pamela cried and cried for about five minutes. Anyone who has watched an autistic person meltdown over broken things knows how heartbreaking it is to see these very real tears. The cool thing is that I did not spend the week getting Pamela used to walking in the kitchen with the radio on static. Instead, we practiced Pamela seeing my calm, neutral face when we were in the middle of uncertainty and Pamela knowing that, as long as I appear calm, then things were going to be okay in the end.

I will close with another lovely conversation--and Dr. MacDonald wrote a neat post on that topic, too. Steve was out gassing up the cars (an enjoyable task now that the price of gas has dropped).

Pamela asked where dad was. I told her, "I don't know!"

She said, "I don't know!"

Then she asked, "Is it gas?"

I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders and said, "It's okay."

She nodded and told me, "We'll live."

Yes, indeed, Pamela! We'll live.

Manage your personal accounts (freeware)

Manage your personal accounts with HomeBank HomeBank is a free software (Freeware).Use HomeBank it to manage your personal accounts. It is designed to easy to use. Analyse your finances in detail using powerful filtering tools and graphs. HomeBank have more than 13 years of user experience and feedback. Its development started in 1995 on Amiga computers. It is available for 52 languages on

Wordless Wednesday: GF/CF Fudgesicles (Click for Recipe Link)

Uncertainty: Advancing to a New Level

I finally got my act together with uncertainty. Here are two recent clips of our work on uncertainty in which I get it RIGHT. The first one was a quick blurp I uploaded to the consultant as soon as I got off the phone to make sure I was on the right track.


The second one shows the culmination of what we have been doing after one week of steady explorations of uncertainty. Steve left for Chile yesterday. Whenever he heads south, people invariably email or call him and beg him to pick up the latest gadgets and toys. Sometimes, he is finds himself carrying more stuff than necessities (clothes, toiletries, etc.). On this trip, he dedicated a small carry-on bag to things for other people. Unfortunately, he had to be at work by 8 o'clock for an important meeting and three UPS deliveries would not be arriving until later in the morning. That meant the kids and I met Steve at the airport (a 2.5 hour round trip for us). Fortunately, I needed video and the trip gave us many ways to explore uncertainty!


My consultant and I agree Pamela is ready for the next level. We are going to skip a step that Pamela can already do (solving a problem or finding out when she realizes she does not know). Our new level is when I know something, but Pamela does not know. I am transferring to her the responsibility of her telling me when she does not know. This may sound obvious to a neurotypical person, but we need to make sure that Pamela recognizes that she does not know things that other people might know. At first, we thought I might have to scaffold this discovery by stopping and gaze shifting between something she does not know and her face. Pamela caught on IMMEDIATELY and she took my breath away. There are times in the video clip below in which I did scaffold with a declarative comment like, "I bet you don't know where we are going."


Today, we did have a moment of uncertainty in which Pamela was unhappy and did NOT reference me at all. The kitchen radio cut out for a few minutes; and, no matter how hard I tried to let her know that I did not know when the radio would be back on air and smiled, she was too upset to feel reassured. Hopefully, some day, our work on uncertainty will help her deal with situations like this better.

First Aid guide for your iPhone

A First Aid guide for your iPhone that will help you treat anything from beestings to burns to eye injuries while you are within range of the Internet. All you need is an iPhone and internet connection, the application is 100% free.Licence: The application is free.Link: http://iphonetoolbox.com

Tap Social Media to Spread Happiness

Every now and then other bloggers ask you to be part of bigger post with many contributors. In connecting with other bloggers, you move into a bigger social network... Interestingly, once you visit other blogs you begin to know the author through conversations on their ideas, and often you make friends with these folks. What an intriguing new aspect of interpersonal intelligence!

These friendships can help boost your happiness, according to a new study by researchers at Harvard and University of California. "Everyday interactions we have with other people are definitely contagious, in terms of happiness," says Nicholas Christakis, an author of this study.

Perhaps more surprising, Christakis says, is that the effect extends beyond the people we come into contact with. When one person becomes happy, the social network effect can spread up to 3 degrees — reaching friends of friends.

"We find that people at the center of the social network tend to be happier," says co-author James Fowler, a political science professor at U.C. San Diego.

Imagine a birds-eye view of a party: "You may see some people in quiet corners talking one-on-one," Fowler says. Others would be at the center of the room having conversations with lots of people. According to the study findings, those in the center would be among the happiest.

"We think the reason why is because those in the center are more susceptible to the waves of happiness that spread throughout the network," Fowler explains.

One way we get to know people behind blogs is to contribute to a larger meme in which you reveal facts about yourself. So when Anita Bruzzese tagged me to share seven interesting facts about me I decided to contribute...

7 Interesting Random Facts About Robyn McMaster

1. Appreciate the depth of John Milton's poetry. Today's his 400th birthday... Here's a quote you'd enjoy... "The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."

2. Live in an old Stagecoach Inn, which was part of a century farm - a farm owned by a family for three generations of one family. Eli Griffith built it in 1836. Love it since my hubby and I own 146 acres!

3. Take pleasure in exploring the woods with my grandsons. We discovered a huge hollow tree together, the kind from which fables and fantasies derive.

4. Took pity on Ginger, a stray cat that wended her way to our home. After my son's family adopted a litter, which she presented unexpectedly, we had her spayed. She runs to meet me when I drive into the yard. Ginger's an unexpected melody.

5. Enjoy using puppets for creative exchanges with my grandsons. Just one of many activities to stimulate their minds...

6. Doubted Ellen Weber's words, "Robyn, you're brilliant." Because her words caused me to question what I was doing, eventually I followed a call to use God-given talents that lay unused. Must admit, I still doubt that description, but am curious, adventurous and open to keep learning.

7. Play golf with relish. In the last three years, Ellen Weber and I, as part of a foursome brought home first place trophies in Rotary tournaments. Now that snow's outside, I consider new courses to explore next year.

What about you? Want to join in this fascinating social exchange? I'm tagging

Big Man Walking

Amy Palko

Isadore Biffin

Ulla Henning

R.J. Leaman

Giovanna Garcia

Eva Ulian

Anyone who wants to be part of this list is welcome to join.

Here's what to do...

• Link to your original tagger, and list these rules on your blog.

• Share seven facts about yourself in the post - some random, some weird.

• Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.

• Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs and/or Twitter.

I see this meme as a great way to prime your intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligences to spread good will to bloggers you met recently.

GF/CF Fruit Dessert

We celebrated Steve's forty-something-eth birthday on Friday, and, since he prefers semi-healthy treats, I baked a fruit dessert in lieu of cake and frosting. Between missing ingredients and stripping it of gluten and casein, I revised a recipe from a church cookbook in a major way. If you have a sweet tooth, you may want to add up to a cup of sugar to the filling. It must have passed the taste test, for it vanished in less than 24 hours!

Filling:
1 21-ounce can cherry pie filling
1 20-ounce can crushed pineapple
1 15-ounce can peaches (lite syrup)
1 15-ounce can pears (lite syrup)
1/3 cup tapioca
2 cups fruit juice (drained from fruit)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine sugar and tapioca with liquid. Let stand for five minutes. Cook and stir constantly until thickened. Add the remaining filling ingredients, dicing any that need it.

Crust:
1 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup buttery sticks
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup gluten-free oats
1 cup gluten-free cornflake crumbs
2 cups all-purpose gluten-free baking flour

In a separate bowl, cream brown sugar and buttery sticks. Beat in the rest of the crust ingredients. Press 2/3 of the mixture in a 10 x 13 inch pan. Spoon in fruit filling.

Topping:
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup coconut

Mix the rest of the crust mixture with the nuts and coconut. Crumble over the fruit filling.

Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. If the topping gets too brown, cover the dish with aluminum foil.

Tune-in Tasks to Stay Mentally Fit

Distractions interrupt the brain's memory-making ability, especially in older brains. Twittering when trying to balance the bank book or reading? Annoying noises and other environmental disruptions can cause increased activation in certain regions that normally should be quieter or tuned down. So your memory processes can be short circuited...

Older brains show greater susceptibility according to a recent study at Canadian Rotman Research Institute at Baycrest. “The auditory cortex and prefrontal cortex, associated with external environmental monitoring, were idling too high," claims Dr. Dale Stevens. Interestingly, older brains processed too much irrelevant information from surroundings.

Researchers scanned brains of 12 younger adults and 12 older adults with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

Both age groups looked at pictures of faces and later indicated which they recognized.

When both groups failed to recognize a face, the researchers saw decreased activity in the memory encoding regions of the brain, including the hippocampus.

However, when older participants looked at faces they later forgot, their brains showed increased activity in a region that should have been quiet during memory encoding – the auditory cortex, the part of the brain that processes sound in the environment. The older adults averaged 70 years old.

"This indicates that older adults were not able to suppress or filter out the noise of the fMRI machine," said Stevens. "We did not see this in the younger adults at all."

So what possible strategies might folks use to increase attentional skills? Here're 10 starters...

1. Play soft music in background while working since music moves your brain waves.

2. Choose baroque music to increase focus while working or studying

3. Outsource memory on daily planner - include last minute "to-do's."

4. Keep items in a specific place. Determine fixed place for keys at all times. For example, use belt hook or hook on purse. Never set items down willy-nilly.

5. Turn off cell phone while driving. In addition, avoid "deep conversations" since they take your brain off focus on road.

6. Avoid multi-tasking. Brain focuses well on one thing at a time, whether it be driving or writing.

7. Keep eyes on work tasks as you complete them to make sure all's truly finished and clutter removed, and tools returned to designated sites. Clutter exacerbates attentional problems.

8. Observe a person's face carefully and repeat name after introduction. Make mental note of an animal you might connect to that person. Ask the person a question about something s/he enjoys. That adds to a viable memory.

9. Look into person's eyes as you speak so your mind does not wander around the room.

10.Turn off TweetDeck and other techical devices that may interrupt during creative work times. Distractions shut down focus for creativity not matter your age.

Interestingly, as you look at this list, you can see that folks of all ages, teens to seniors, exerience interruptions throughout a day. What do you do target and tune-in, rather than tuning-out?

Take Problem to Possibility

What if leaders in today's workplaces found creative ways to tap into talent when problems arise? Most dance choreographers would tell a pregnant dancer to take a leave, but not Garth Fagan. Garth retained dancer, Nicolette Depass, though six months pregnant, and featured her in "Phone Tag," to break old paradigms. Along with Norwood Pennewell, who's danced for a startling 30 years, Nicolette "danced vigorously and beautifully as ever" to premier this dance at Joyce Theater in New York on election night and again in the Rochester, NY premier.



"The special radiance of a pregnant dancer of Nicolette's quality," Garth muses, "brings new shape and dimension to dance steps old and new and celebrates my and the company's joy at the union of her and husband Bill Ferguson's superb gene pools."

The dance language of Garth Fagan draws on many sources: torso centered-movement, weight sense of modern dance, Afro-Caribbean energy, precision and speed of ballet and rule breaking precision of post-moderns.

Garth primes his working memory, plus digs from past experiences in his basal ganglia for creative approaches that lead to new possibilities.

How have you recently used a personal capability to develop a unique creation where you work?

Undoing 27 Years of Military Training

Changing my parenting style is so difficult and brain-numbing. The latest twist is to say those dreaded words. What dreaded words, you ask? Well, back in the summer of 1981, the very first thing I learned at the boat school was the five basic responses of the plebe. There are only five ways we could respond and saying the wrong thing could cause your squad leader to yell at you at the top of his lungs with about one inch between his nose and yours. The five basic responses were "Yes, sir!" "No, sir!" "Aye-aye, sir!" The answer or "I'll find out, sir!" It took quite a bit of yelling and screaming in my face for it to be drilled into my head to say "I'll find out, sir!" instead of what most people say when they don't know. Yes, those dreaded words, "I don't know, sir!"

What does this have to do with parenting? My RDI consultant has wisely observed that Pamela has a difficult time living with uncertainty. And, when I think about it, her worst crying jags (short, but intense) are caused by true uncertainty. For example, we do not know how long it will take for power to come back on when it is out. We do not know when the cable box will come back on if it dies. We do not know when Steve will come home if his flight is canceled. We do not know how long a traffic jam will last (especially if we are late for a very important date). This kind of uncertainty does cause Pamela to become unglued because there is no answer and know predicting when we will have an answer.

While what we were doing was helping, I did not have it quite nailed. I was just letting uncertainty flow into little guessing games, which misses the point of living with uncertainty. The following two clips show how I have been missing the boat because knowing that there is an answer if you wait long enough sweeps away uncertainty in Pamela's mind.




Keep in mind--what we are doing was sweet and fun, but we were NOT working on uncertainty, which was the objective! The focus is that we don't know and we can live with not knowing. The key is to stop and freeze that moment of uncertainty in time so that Pamela has time to process that I am perfectly fine about not knowing. She needs space around the "I don't know" moment so that it will register as being a neutral moment for me (and I hope she will reference that and decide it is neutral for her, too). We do not need to play guessing games or solve the problem because, in our messy world, that is not always possible. Sometimes, there is no answer or solution.

Once Pamela relaxes and accepts being uncertain, we can resume the action and go back to what we were doing, which may very well include solving the problem or finding out the answer or living with uncertainty even longer! The problem with this is that it will be hard to record these moments because moments of true uncertainty happen unannounced. You almost need TiVo in your eyeballs!

In the past day, I have already seen how hard this is for Pamela. For example, Pamela loves commenting on which car Steve takes (one car does not have a radio and she loves her music). The first time she asked me what car he was taking I did the slow, neutral, calm "I don't know which car Dad is taking" and started World War III! She kept rotating between the three car colors (red, gray, or black). I must have repeated the "I don't know" mantra about eight times. She was not happy and fussed and blustered at me. She gave up. A minute later, she ran to the window to see three cars still there.

Later, I tried the IDK car mantra again. I was unable to prevent her from running to the window to check to see Steve switching around cars. Later, Steve was busy switching cars around. I tried the IDK car thing, and Pamela got so frustrated she used her power words. After guessing each car several times, she finally said, "Failed. Game over!" Aha! I thought she thinks it is a game in which there has to be an answer. Not knowing is not an option in this game. So, I said to her, "This is not a game. I don't know which car Dad is taking. It's okay." FINALLY, she got it. Pamela relaxed, nodded, and smiled back, then went back to eating!

Later in the day, we were coming back from picking up Pamela's dinner. We always do that on my choir night. As we turned onto our street, we saw Steve drive off. Pamela asked, "Where's Dad going?" I stopped the car (we live on a dead street) and said, "I don't know" and smiled. She smiled back and let it go! NORMALLY, she would have said something like, "Daddy's getting gas" which is what he usually does when the price of gas is low. After we got home, I walked into the office/TV room and said, "I don't know where Dad went." I was relaxed and neutral. Pamela nodded and smiled back!

That does not mean she has mastered this concept in a day. The true test will be the next time something unpredictable happens for which we have no answer.

What I Learned from Uncle Earl's Generosity

My hubby Carl, desired to be a physical education teacher. So when I obtained a teaching position I encouraged him to go back to school. I could support us and he could complete a lifelong goal. All went well, and Carl soon completed his second year. At that time I discovered I was expecting. We decided to stretch Carl's $100.00 per month veteran's benefit allowance. We had a place to live rent free since we were dorm parents for young men attending college. Carl earned extra for cleaning the dorm, while I worked part time in the PR department of the college. With very little money we met all expenses. Barely!

Travel times consisted of a 300 mile trip to and from home during holidays. Both our families gathered to celebrate and we wanted to be there, especially when Scott was born. At the same time Carl took our car to Uncle Earl's garage for oil changes, brakes fixed, etc. Maybe our car was over the hill... Hmmm... See what you think.

Uncle Earl, an upstanding Kiwanis leader and down to earth Pontiac dealer, lived in a small country village in western New York. His white hair and round steel rimmed glasses perched on his leathery face gave the look of an earlier era. At the gas station, Uncle Earl would briskly approach you with a smile and hearty greeting, as he wiped grease from his hands on oily cloths. He stuck to work and business so you'd not discern he might have other things on his mind, too.

Scott was a real hit in his newborn Santa suit that first Christmas. Everyone passed him around and admired him at the family gathering around Uncle Earl's table. Following the hearty meal, Uncle Earl took Carl aside and told him he had a 1956 Pontiac station wagon - an older, one-owner in excellent shape he'd like us to have while Carl attended school.

The gift of this sturdy car, perfectly fitting our needs, truly surprised us. It replaced a vehicle extra ready for retirement. The real shock rooted from the fact that giving the car revealed a side of Uncle Earl's character unknown to us at that point.

After his death we learned that he overlooked some folks' overdue bills, actually not collecting some when he could have. Maybe he knew they were unable to pay.

Interestingly, researchers at the University of British Columbia and the Harvard Business School find that it's possible to buy happiness after all: when you spend money on others. Psychologist Abraham Maslow calls this self-actualization - people express themselves most fully when contributing something valuable to others. Generosity's the outward manifestation of strong Intrapersonal intelligence. The more you practice it, the more you rewire your brain for openhandedness.

Uncle Earl often said he wanted to live to be 100. He died in his 99th year and almost reached that birthday, vigorous, keen of mind and active till the end... As I look back and reflect today, I feel a warm spot in my heart. His life's a reminder to me to pass his generosity on to others. Uncle Earl experienced the first depression... and came through knowing how to stretch money and be generous to others at the same time. Wow!

I created this piece to contribute to Robert Hruzek's What I Learned from the Generosity of Others challenge.

Robert will collect other contributions through midnight, December 7th. Why not send him an entry of your own?