Stop Abuse: Bullying in the Workplace

Bullies in the workplace seem to be increasing in number. Perhaps you've suffered in silence at a bully's whims because you're afraid of losing your job. To provide a variety of perspectives on the workplace bully and ways to overcome bullying, I've picked the brains of several bloggers...

Jim Stroup presents recent stats on bullies in management:

Bullying can occur in the workplace as a result of the plain contrariness of someone’s personality, more serious shortcomings in one’s character, or competitive pressure that sometimes unleashes these elements that can be found buried somewhere in the makeup of all of us. Moreover, it can occur everywhere in the organization – indeed, recent surveys have shown that nearly half of all workers in the United States feel that they are the victims of bosses who are bullies – and almost two-thirds of workers feel that such bosses should be subject to lawsuits for that sort of behavior. This is obviously a serious problem in contemporary society generally, and in today’s pressure-cooker organizations, as well.

Illustration by Lisa Haney

Frank Roches of KnowHR lists common everyday actions [bullies] might use in a workplace.

Common Everyday Actions That [Bullies] Use
1. Personal insults
2. Invading one’s “personal territory”
3. Uninvited physical contact
4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal
5. “Sarcastic jokes” and “teasing” used as insult delivery systems
6. Withering e-mail flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
8. Public shaming or “status degradation” rituals
9. Rude interruptions
10. Two-faced attacks
11. Dirty looks
12. Treating people as if they are invisible

What matters most is what's on the other side of this picture. Ellen Weber asks...

Before workplace bullying pops you with a black eye to the soul, what can be done? Do you cultivate opportunities for the bully to grow more personal intelligences – or do you confront the conflict and encourage others to do the same?

When you turn a bully inside-out, you'll note that bullies're sorely lacking. They're people who do not feel good about themselves so they have to lift themselves up as smarter, most powerful, most strong... But the reality is they're bankrupt in Intrapersonal Intelligence, one of the Multiple Intelligences, identified through activity in the human brain.

What 's intrapersonal intelligence?

Interestingly, people with strong intrapersonal intelligence have spiritual well-being. Intrapersonal Intelligence entails the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one's feelings, fears and motivations. In Howard Gardner's view it involves having an effective working model of ourselves, and to be able to use such information to regulate our lives. In fact, Dr. Gardner, whose parents suffered in the Halocaust, has shifted his current research to focus more on Good Works since he sees Good Works as a proactive way to establish civil, caring communities.

Ethics and integrity play a big role in decision making for folks who have intrapersonal strength. They're very passionate about family, work, recreation, and have a deep sense of social justice. They've learned to deal with frustrations and anger in positive ways. They encourage others because they are strong within. You'll note their care and nuturing of others acted out daily. Do you hear them humming a happy tune within?

Steve Roesler, provides five reasons why "Who You Are" really matters ... In essence a person strong in Intrapersonal Intelligence...

It's not about. . . . . . a title. That's the role an organization says you're supposed to play. And that can change in a fleeting moment. This is about who you really are. Why is that so important?

1. Who You Are determines How you are.
2. How You Are determines the quality and depth of your relationships.
3. The quality and depth of your relationships determine your ability to mobilize your people--workers, family, or friends--in time of need.
4. The quality of your relationships determine the breadth and depth of help you'll receive in your time of need.
5. Who You Are determines your brand while you're alive and your legacy afterward.

Take time today to build a firm foundation that won't shake and crack with the first sign of adversity.

Several readers responding to Ellen Weber's post Any Bullies Where You Work? recommend the following tactics to combat it:

Simon Jackson recommends:

Running away - removing oneself from the situation - is often a valid and sensible response. But people in a position of authority should never tolerate or ignore bullying. I am greatly enjoying and recommend the book The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't which is all about workplace bullying and how to handle it.

Ann Michael advises:

The best thing to do is to call them on it. I don't care what level they occupy in an organization - they need to be told they're a bully and how their behavior impacts those around them.

They will either care or they won't. For those that care you may have helped them see something they didn't realize and helped them to take ownership of it. For those that don't you make it clear that they will not be bullying you or others when you're around.

Most back down after that.

Wally Bock says:

One problem with bullies in business is that they're often in positions of power. And, because we pretty consistently evaluate goal performance only, they are often people who produce results. This is often fine for the short term and deadly for the long term.

Good evaluation systems should evaluate those in charge of a group on the twin jobs of accomplishing the mission and caring for the people. Individual contributors should be evaluated on their work quality and quantity, but also on their impact on the group.These are powerful suggestions to combat the abuse of workplace bullies.

What wisdom would you add to help a workplace bully change? What positive actions might you take to stop the abuse?