Two-footed Questions Spark Surprise

Ever noticed some questions have ready made answers? If I ask, "Who was the first man on the moon?" there's an expected answer. Questions with expected answers bore people, unless you're in the hot seat on The Millionaire. Here's why...

Questions that deal with facts and information, have little affect on the person asking or the person questioned. People's minds fly a million miles away, because their interest is simply not captured. Did you experience that at school?

On the other hand, some questions are all about people, their ideas, feelings, opinions... If I asked, "How are you feeling today?" the question is very subjective and can change between morning and evening or from day to day. And, even worse, you run the risk of hearing an organ recital. Since it's one person's experience, it does not necessarily involve me or anyone else but that person. When we don't connect, we tend to lose interest, too. So what kind of questions really spark peoples' juices?

A two-footed question bridges facts and folks' interests, and sparks surprise as folks respond thoughtfully...

Here're some starters that begin with you directly...

How might I adjust my day to do ... differently?

In what ways could I assist my manager with ...?

What strategies might work for me to engage my children in ... following school?

Note how your interests link directly to a topic... and if you ask the question just before you go to sleep your brain works on it while you get your zzzz's... Or, ask it in the morning and mull it over during the day. You'll be amazed that a great answer comes when you least expect it...

Consider two-footed questions that draw out others' thoughts and experiences...

Who has influenced you most at work, and in what key way did he or she help boost your leadership?

What contribution could you make to... and how might it impress the boss?

How do you get your teens interested in ...?

Or, maybe you'd like to try two-footed question strategies to draw from others' smarts.

When you use this strategy to inquire of another person, you show respect for their knowledge and experience. Your respect inspires, and folks jump to the challenge of providing you a very thoughtful answer.

When you ask two-footed questions of folks on your work team, with clients or with family, you'll be amazed at unexpected answers and deeper conversations that develop.

Dr.Ellen Weber, CEO of the MITA International Brain Based Center developed two feet for questioning as a way to spark deeper ideas, thoughtful discussion and interactions, based on many years of research. For additional insights, check Ellen's posts:

Two Footed Questions for a Flat World

Questions without Watertight Answers Increase Wonder

A Cat Covers Its Material, but Humans Question

Recapture the Power of a Question

And for your upcoming Thanksgiving table, Ellen advises...

Start your dinner by inviting each person to give thanks for one thing in the last week. Such a two-footed questions keeps the tone fresh. People tend to piggy back off one other’s insights from thanks, so cortisol diminishes, that horrid hormone for stress and negativity.

Ready for surprises and depth of thought as you communicate? Try asking a two-footed question at one of your next meals. Figure out a great question in advance... Come back and share results...